


iron

by holyhidan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blood and Violence, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, I don't know what I'm doing, Masochism, NSFW, Sadism, Slow Burn, Smut, duh it's Hidan, yeet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-01-27 09:41:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21390058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holyhidan/pseuds/holyhidan
Summary: Hidan can't bring himself to sacrifice you, so he kidnaps you and brings you back to the Akatsuki base with him. What will happen next? The world may never know because I can't ever see anything through to completion.
Relationships: Hidan (Naruto)/Reader, Hidan (Naruto)/You
Comments: 19
Kudos: 118





	1. the reaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: My writing is heavily influenced by music, and I'm almost always listening to music while I write. That being said, I thought I'd add the songs that gave me ideas/inspiration in the notes for each chapter. Sometimes when I write certain scenes, I imagine them with a song in the background like a movie. For specific situations like that, I'll also note where to start the music in the chapter. Totally up to you if you listen or not, just thought I'd give a little insight into my mind. Cha.
> 
> Songs that inspired this chapter:
> 
> (Don't Fear) The Reaper - Blue Oyster Cult
> 
> Iron - Woodkid

_Blood_.

It seeped into every fiber of his being. Consumed him like wildfire. His entire existence was devoted to the shedding of blood, after all.

To cause pain.

To bring death.

All in the name of his precious Lord Jashin.

_Blood_.

He’s seen enough in his lifetime to fill canyons, it seems. One could almost say he’s been baptized in it. The blood of his victims has stained his clothes, hands, and chest. It’s been splattered across his nose and cheeks like freckles. His hair has been drenched with it, effectively dyeing his pale silver locks a deep crimson. Blood has coated his lips.

His teeth.

His tongue.

Interestingly enough, no human tastes the same. Some taste more metallic than others. Some saltier. Some sweeter. In the end it, it doesn’t matter. The moment his tongue flicks over the blade of his scythe to drink in the sticky substance is ecstasy, regardless.

So he wonders why, in this moment, that his ecstasy is replaced by something else. Something he can’t quite put his finger on. And it fucking pisses him off.

He stands within his holy emblem painted with blood. His left hand clutches a fistful of long hair, while his right is bringing the scythe up to his lips for a second time. Again, his tongue swipes across the blood-coated metal. He closes his eyes and inhales sharply through his nose. Half a second later, his face contorts in frustration.

“What the _fuck_?” he blurts out suddenly. This causes the woman he has wrapped up in his left hand to flinch harshly.

This feeling--it’s electric and dizzying as it always is. The wave of pleasure that crashes through his body remains the same. When the wave settles though, he does not feel the familiar floating sensation. In fact, he feels heavier than ever. More so in the center of his chest than anywhere else. It is comparable to the feeling of being on the verge of orgasm, only to fail to reach the climax.

It makes him furious.

“Alright bitch, get the fuck up.” He says with a sharp tug of her hair, causing her to lose her balance and fall onto the bloody dirt.

She lets out a whimper and looks up at her torturer through matted wet lashes.

“Please! I promise if you just let me go—” she is cut off abruptly by another painful yank of her hair.

“You won’t say a thing to anyone. Yeah, I’ve heard it all, princess.” He says in a bored tone, kneeling so that he is eye level with the woman. “Now, if you don’t get the fuck on your feet and start walking, I won’t hesitate to drag your ass, capiche?” he states matter-of-factly.

When the woman simply blinks in response without moving a muscle, he loses what little patience he has.

“You dumb bitch. You asked for it.”

With that, he pulls her roughly by the hair and drags her forward. She shrieks and begins to thrashing around in the dirt, desperately trying to escape his steel grasp. After two more violent thrashes, the ends of her hair that were wrapped tightly around his fingers break off from the tension. She stumbles backwards and manages to get herself to her feet. She starts to run.

The violet-eyed man simply sighs, running a hand through his smooth hair and releasing the chunk of (h/c) hair that remained in his other. He takes one, two, three steps towards the fleeing girl.

She doesn’t dare look back as she pushes her aching muscles forward. Tears fall from the outer corners of her eyes as she runs.

_Click._

_‘Don’t look back’_ she thinks, closing her eyes tightly.

She makes it one more step before collapsing face-first into the ground.

_Blood_.

She screams out in pain, clutching her right thigh which is now gushing dark red. White spots begin to form in her peripheral vision. She blinks slowly.

_Once._

_Twice._

A black figure can be seen through the hazy whiteness. It towers over her ominously as she attempts to focus her sight.

_Red_. Three red, crescent-shaped blades. She blinks again.

_Black._ Ebony skin contrasts dramatically with stripes of white, not unlike that of a skeleton.

“No,” she says weakly. _‘Could it really be?’_ she thought just before completely succumbing to the darkness.

_‘Death._

_He’s taking me.’_


	2. she shall know pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really proofread this, so I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors. Also, I appreciate all the kudos! It gives me the motivation to keep writing despite being in the soul-crushing depths of nursing school. Anyways, enjoy! Cha.
> 
> Songs that inspired this chapter:
> 
> welcome to the hellzone (VAGUE003 Remix) - spooky black
> 
> EVERYDAY ANYONE (DATURA Remix) - N O M I N A L
> 
> I Like Being - Sybyr
> 
> NASCAR - juku
> 
> SARCOPHAGUS III - $UICIDEBOY$ X RAMIREZ

_Rain_.

Drops of rain slide down her hair from root to tip in a steady stream as she comes to. She’s now aware that she’s being carried, slung over a strong shoulder. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see that damned scythe again.

_Oh_.

It’s _him_.

Her gaze returns to the ground and she silently observes his feet as he walks. His shinobi sandals are muddied and only become dirtier with every step he takes through the endless puddles of rainwater. His black cloak is soaked and clinging to his back. Weakly, she reaches out to touch the fabric. She’s not sure why, perhaps she’s trying to find a semblance of comfort in the awful situation she’s managed to get herself into. Ever so faintly, she begins to trace the outline of the red cloud in the middle of his back. The muscles underneath stiffen in response her touch, but the man continues walking forward. As she loses consciousness for a second time, she vaguely registers how the man’s arm slightly tightens over the backs of her thighs. She hears him speak softly, just above a whisper, but she’s gone before she can make sense of his words.

_“I’ve got you.”_

~

She is startled awake by being unceremoniously dropped onto a cold, concrete floor like a sack of potatoes. She yelps out in pain and raises her head, taking in her surroundings. In the middle of the room lies a large conference table lined with chairs. The room is dim, only illuminated by the soft flicker of candle light from the candelabra in the center of the table. Directly in front of her, she can see the blurry form of a man. At his side, there is a lavender-haired woman looking less than interested in the whole situation. The man leans forward a bit, and she can make out a set of startling purple eyes that seem to glow in the poorly-lit room. He peers down at her in curiosity.

“Hidan, what is this?” the man says in a rather deep voice.

“A present. Merry fucking Christmas.” A familiar voice behind her responds.

She whips her head back to find the source of the voice. The man steps out from the shadows, and only now she is able to properly take in his appearance. His bare chest is the first thing that catches her eye, followed by the gleam of a strange pendant hanging around his neck. Her gaze trails up his neck to meet a strong jawline and a set of full lips that seem to be set in a permanent smirk. The sound of the glowing-eyed man’s voice snapped her out of her temporary trance.

“Explain yourself.” he says with obvious irritation in his voice.

“Well, since Sasori got his creepy puppet ass killed, I figured we would need a new member to fill his place.” says Hidan.

“You seem to be forgetting your place in this organization,” the menacing man said in a threatening tone. He was about to continue when Hidan suddenly interrupts him.

“She possesses the crystal-style kekkei genkai.” Hidan states matter-of-factly.

“That is impossible. I’ve only known of one ninja possessing such bloodline limit and she has not been seen since the capture of the Three-Tails. Nor does she have any living clan members.” states the leader.

“How about a demonstration then?” Hidan retorts, walking towards the mess of a woman on the floor. He grabs her by the back of the neck and brings his lips to her ear. His breath causes goosebumps to spread over her bruised skin.

“Now, you’re gonna be a good little bitch and show Pain what you’re capable of. Do you understand me?” he whispers in a harsh tone, increasing his grip on her neck for emphasis.

“I—I,” she stutters, looking down at her hands. She doesn’t recognize herself, beaten and bloodied like this. (Y/n) has never been a weak woman by any means. Sure, her kekkei genkai is extremely powerful—but it’s her strong will and intelligence that has kept her alive all these years. Now, she kneels helplessly; her soul and spirit broken by this nightmare of a man behind her. ‘_Pathetic._ _That’s what I am._’ she thinks to herself, shaking her head in disgust. Her thoughts are interrupted by Hidan’s fingers grabbing her chin and forcing her to lock eyes with his own.

“I said: Do. You. Understand?” he grits out, squeezing her chin so tightly she is sure they’ll be bruises later. She winces in pain, but doesn’t break eye contact with Hidan. ‘_Orchids_,’ The image of the exotic flower flashes in her mind. ‘_His eyes are the color of orchids_.’ she thinks. She notices something about the way he’s looking at her. He dominates her with his words and the rough way he handles her, but the softness in his gaze doesn’t match his actions.

“I…I don’t have enough chakra left.” she says, returning her eyes to the palms of her hands. Rather than a reply, she hears the unmistakable sound of metal being unsheathed. She closes her eyes and braces herself for the inevitable pain of his blade piercing her skin, but the pain doesn’t come. Instead, she feels a warm liquid dripping onto her chest. She opens her eyes and is startled to see Hidan’s wrist placed in front of her face, a fresh cut steadily pouring out blood. Her brows furrow, and she looks up at him in confusion.

“Drink. Hurry up before I heal.” he orders. She cocks her head to the side, and he knows what she’s asking him. “It’ll restore a bit of your chakra.” he says, nudging his wrist towards her mouth.

He does not miss the way that his blood trickles down her collarbone and disappears in between her breasts. He clenches his teeth and suppresses the urge to lick her clean. ‘_God damn it_.’ he swears at himself internally.

Hidan is not a man of much patience or restraint to begin with, and this woman is pushing him to his limits. She is sat with her legs tucked under her in the shape of a ‘W’. Her long (h/c) hair is a tangled mess. Her long-sleeved mesh top is torn in multiple places, with one sleeve ripped off completely and a large hole in the front that reveals her toned stomach. Her thigh-high tights are in the same state, with blood from the wound he inflicted upon her thigh caking her tights and shorts. Her skin is littered with bruises and scrapes. However, her feminine features contrast sharply with her disheveled state, making her appear even more beautiful than before he fought her. _Beautiful_. It’s not a word he uses often to describe women. _Hot, sexy, provocative, sultry_—these are words that usually come to his mind. Although she is all of these things, she is beautiful above all. ‘_Pure_.’ he adds. He feels that unfamiliar ache in his chest again, and suddenly he’s the one that doesn’t recognize himself. _What was she doing to him_?

His internal conflict is broken by the feeling of her small hands pulling his wrist up to her mouth. Her smooth lips latch to the sensitive skin of his wrist, and he takes in a sharp breath when he feels her tongue run across the length of his wound. She sucks lightly at first, and he’s somewhat shocked when she begins to drink him in almost greedily. The enchanting woman releases his wrist a few seconds later, realizing that his wound has healed. She looks up at him again, his blood dripping down the side of her mouth. She looks absolutely sinful. ‘_Fuck_.’ he curses mentally, struggling significantly to maintain his composure. Her eyes lock with his and she smiles devilishly, showing her blood-stained teeth. He raises an eyebrow. ‘_Why the fuck is she looking at me like that_?’

A blur clouds his vision and all of a sudden, he feels a sharp pain in his chest that is much different from the ache he felt earlier. No, this is different but all too familiar to Hidan. He looks down to see a pink crystal spear lodged in his chest, straight through his heart. Her movement was too quick for his mind to even process. She still has that stupid grin on her lips, one hand gripping the spear she’s just stabbed him with. ‘_Ah, she thinks she’s won, huh._’

To her absolute horror, Hidan begins to chuckle. The chuckle turns into an almost manic laugh, and the smile on her face is replaced by a look of utter terror. He places his large hand over hers, and slowly pulls the spear out. ‘_How?’_ His blood should be crystallizing by now. He should be dying. ‘_Why isn’t he dying?!’ _The sound of shattering glass fills the room. She watches as her spear crumbles into a million glittering pieces after making contact with the wall behind Hidan. Panic sets in as he closes the small gap between them, and his hand is on her neck again. Instinctively, her hands fly up in an attempt to free herself from his grip, but it’s useless. He lifts her by the neck with ease, just high enough for the tips of her toes to graze the ground beneath her. Tears form in the corners of her eyes as she chokes. Her terrified (e/c) eyes again meet his orchid orbs. This time, there is no softness. Only anger.

“There’s that fighting spirit!” he yells excitedly. “Nice try, little girl.”

His cocky smirk is the last thing she sees before everything goes black.


	3. refuge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I literally only deleted one line in this chapter--nothing else has changed. I'm editing the next chapter right now, and I'll put that up shortly. Next chapter is likely going to be a bit shorter and I'm taking most of the fluff out. Have no fear, though; I have plenty of [dirty] ideas for the coming chapters. Plus, finals are over! Cha!
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> addicted - xela
> 
> you're the only one that wants me around - illuded

She awakes in a room she does not recognize. She blinks the drowsiness from her vision and sits up in the bed she’s been placed on, her aching joints protesting as she does so. Her eyes scan her new surroundings. The room is sparsely furnished, save for the bed beneath her, a dresser, desk, and chair. Seated in said chair is a man she knows all too well. Instinctively, she scoots herself back into the headboard upon seeing him.

“Good morning, princess.” he speaks. He’s cleaning his scythe with a rag, looking oddly content as he does so. He is dressed in a black shirt with a deep V-neck and a pair of joggers with matching shinobi sandals. His silver hair is pulled back into a half bun, a few stray pieces falling over his forehead. His attention leaves his blade and he looks up at the woman. She can’t help the small gasp that leaves her lips when her eyes meet his orchid ones. He really was gorgeous. He’s a demonic, psychotic son of a bitch—but at least he was nice to look at. ‘_Count your blessings, they’re few and far between_ _now_’ she thinks.

“I thought you were never gonna fucking wake up,” he says. “Never met a broad that sleeps so fucking hard.”

“How long have I been out?” she questions him. He seems slightly taken aback by her voice. However, he shakes it off quickly and returns to fidgeting with his scythe.

“Dunno. Two, maybe three days?” he shrugs. Her eyes widen at his answer, and she’s suddenly acutely aware of how thirsty she is.

“W-water.” she croaks out. Hidan tosses her the water bottle that was sitting on the desk next to him. She catches it and gulps the liquid greedily, not caring that the water spills a bit and trickles down the sides of her mouth.

“Damn bitch, take a breath.” he says, a look of amusement gracing his features briefly. After downing the whole bottle, she takes several deep breaths. She looks down at her palms, noticing now that they’re wrapped with bandages. Skeptically, she scans the remainder of her body. The laceration on her thigh has been sutured, and the numerous abrasions peppering her skin have been cleaned. She runs a finger over the stitches, trying to make sense of her situation.

“Why didn’t you just kill me?” she asks. Hidan stands up and grabs a towel from one of the dresser drawers. He places it on the bed next to her.

“As much as I would enjoy that, our leader has taken an interest in you. He believes your skills could be of use to the organization.” he explains. She raises an eyebrow at him.

“And what bullshit organization might that be?” she scoffs. He grins, satisfied that her feisty attitude has returned. _They’re no fun if they don’t fight._

“The Akatsuki,” he answers. “The man I brought you to, his name is Pain. He’s a real uptight dick, but he possesses the Rinnegan. He is our leader, and the woman you saw with him is Konan. You’ll meet the rest of the dumbasses later.”

She had heard rumors about the Akatsuki during her travels. The organization was supposedly made up of S-ranked rouge ninja from various villages. (Y/n) could be considered a rouge ninja herself. She grew up in Getsugakure, but defected after the death of her father. She cherished her father deeply. He was all she had, after all—her mother died shortly after her birth and she had no siblings. Only herself and her father. He too was a shinobi but was killed in the line of duty during a poorly planned mission assigned to him by Getsugakure leadership. She blamed the village for her father’s death, which ultimately lead to her leaving the Hidden Moon and becoming a wanderer. She made a living by picking up bounties, but never considered herself a true ‘bounty hunter’. It was simply a necessity in order to survive.

Her idle thoughts are interrupted by something thudding into her chest. She yelps in surprise; her ribs still sore from her fight with Hidan. She realizes he’s thrown the towel he had previously placed on the bed at her.

“Hey! What the fuck was that for, bastard?” she huffs and throws him a glare.

“Such vulgar words coming from such a pretty mouth,” he chuckles lightly, and her glare intensifies. “For the love of Jashin, take a fucking shower. You fucking reek.”

With that, he turns to exit the room. He grabs his scythe and slides the door shut behind him.

~

The shower was more satisfying than any sex she’s ever had in her life.

She’s certain she was in there for at least a half hour scrubbing all of the blood and dirt from her skin and hair. She spent another thirty minutes standing under the stream of hot water, pondering what to do next. Although she was taken against her will, beaten, and manhandled, there appeared to be some benefits to joining the elusive organization. If the rumors of the Akatsuki are true, she knows she will be protected. She too, is in the bingo book with a hefty bounty over her head for abandoning Getsugakure. It would be nice to have a place to come home to as well. Being as frugal as she is, she often bypassed paying for a few nights at an inn and opted to camp instead. Above all, she’s extremely lonely. She’ll never admit it, but travelling alone for years can do that to a person.

She sighs and looks at herself in the mirror. On the other hand, could she trust these people? Her fingers brush over the dark purple bruises on her neck and jaw. ‘_Look what he’s done to me.’_ she thinks. How could she ever trust _him_? The rational side of her screams for her to run, but part of her yearns to stay. She can’t explain it. It’s illogical, reckless, and downright stupid to stay. She knows this, and she’s sure that Pain won’t just let her walk out the door like nothing happened if she chose to leave. Although she knows little about the organization, she knows more now than any outsider does. Letting her go would be a risk; she would surely be killed if she declined their offer. She throws her hands up in exasperation. ‘_How the hell did I end up in this situation_?’

Glancing at herself again, she notices the small chunk missing from the tips of her (h/c) hair. She rummages through the drawers of the bathroom vanity and manages to find a small pair of scissors. She trims her ends and evens her hair out. Deciding that was good enough, she made her way out of the bathroom and into the connected bedroom. On the desk, there was a fresh set of sheets and a clean outfit. The clothes were basic: a pair of black leggings, a plain grey sweatshirt, and a white bra and panties. She wasn’t going to complain, at least she was given a change of clothes. She dresses and notices that the sweatshirt was much too large for her small frame. ‘_Whatever, the comfier the better._’ Finally, she changes the sheets on the bed and tosses the dirty ones into the corner of the room.

She walks over to the large bedroom window and glances outside. The room she’s in is several stories from ground level. A small forest surrounds the building, but she is able make out the silhouette of rooftops over the trees. ‘_Where in the world am I?_’ she thinks. The rain is still pouring from the clouds above, and she feels at ease watching the raindrops run down the glass. She’s always thought that rain was quite peaceful.

The kunoichi spends another few minutes watching the rain and concludes that Hidan was not going to come for her. She takes one last look in the mirror, fluffing her damp hair before exiting the bedroom.

There was a long hallway lined with doors. She walks quietly down the hall, the sound of her bare feet on the wood floor nearly inaudible. One of the doors catches her eye. The same strange symbol Hidan wears around his neck is painted on the door in red. She approaches, running her fingers lightly over the emblem. Suddenly, the door slides open and Hidan nearly runs into her.

“Well you certainly smell better.” he says, looking down at her with his signature smirk. She registers now just how _fucking_ tall he is; he could easily rest his chin on the top of her head if he wished. “You could have ran, but you chose to come and find me. How fucking adorable.”

“Says the one who didn’t leave my side for three days.” she shoots back at him.

“Tch, Konan told me to come check on you for her.” he says, quickly adverting his eyes from her own. A flare of pink spreads across his cheeks. _Was he blushing_?

“Hm, you seemed pretty comfy in that chair polishing your scythe. Damn long check,” she smiles. “How fucking adorable.” she mocks him.

“Shut up before I sacrifice you to Lord Jashin, bitch.” he threatens, the pink on his cheeks burning even brighter. _Yep, definitely blushing. _“Anyway, let’s go. The Almighty Asshole has called a meeting.”

She follows Hidan down the hallway to a set of double doors. He opens them, and she recognizes the room. Seated at the large table is perhaps the most intimidating group of shinobi she’s ever come across. The first one she notices appears to quite literally be a _fucking plant_. ‘_What the actual fuck._’ she thinks.

A whistle breaks through the silence of the room, and she watches as a handsome man with heavy eyeliner and long blonde hair rises from his chair and struts over to her.

“What a masterpiece, un.” he says, looking her up from head to toe with his striking blue eyes. “I’ll have to thank Hidan later for bringing me such a beautiful new muse.” he winks at her, as if Hidan wasn’t standing right next to her. “Name’s Deidara, un.”

“You think I brought her here to be your fucktoy?” Hidan shouts, grabbing Deidara by the collar of his cloak. “You lay one of those disgusting fucking mouth hands on her, and you’ll be my next offering to Jashin.” he snarls.

“I’d like to see you try, un.” he smirks.

“That a fucking bet, pretty boy?” Hidan says angrily, his grip on Deidara’s cloak tightening.

“That’s enough!” a deep voice booms. “Show some respect, you two.” The ginger-haired man she now knows as Pain is glaring at the foolish men in front of her, Rinnegan eyes glowing. Hidan releases Deidara from his grip and Deidara returns to his seat. Hidan places a hand on her back, guiding her to sit at the opposite head of the table. Instead of sitting in the chair next to her, Hidan opts to stand at her side slightly behind her.

“This is (Y/n),” says Pain. “She our newest prospective member.” _Prospective?_

“Pain, you must be going soft,” says a dark-skinned man with his arms folded in disapproval. “Offering refuge to a stray whore Hidan dragged in is unbecoming of you.” Hidan grips the back of (Y/n)’s chair and grits his teeth at the man’s statement.

“Do not be so quick to underestimate her. She is a powerful kunoichi. (Y/n) could kill even you, Kakuzu.” Pain snaps back. “She possesses the crystal release kekkei genkai.” A few surprised looks flash across the faces of the members, including that of Kakuzu.

“Please excuse his poor attitude, (Y/n). Kakuzu is an immortal, like Hidan.” Pain continues.

‘_Immortal?!_’ she thinks. ‘_Well, that explains why he didn’t die by my spear._’

“This is Konan,” says the leader, gesturing to the golden-eyed woman next to him.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, (Y/n).” she says. Suddenly, a bouquet of paper roses materializes in her hands. She walks over to (Y/n) and places it on the table in front of her.

“T-Thank you.” (Y/n) says nervously. Konan nods and returns to her seat. Pain goes around the table, introducing each rogue nin.

“This is Zetsu,” Pain says, motioning to the plant man. “Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha,” the pair nod at her. The one called Kisame looks more like a shark than a man. (Y/n) locks eyes with the Uchiha, and gasps at the sight of his red eyes. Three tomoes spin slowly around his pupils as he speaks. “It is an honor, (Y/n).” She stares at him, temporarily stunned by his beauty. A few strands of silky black hair frame his masculine face, the remainder pulled back in a low ponytail. Hidan scoffs behind her and rolls his eyes, snapping her out of her trance. Quickly, she bows her head towards the raven-haired man. Pain clears his throat and continues.

“Deidara, as you know. And this is Tobi.” He gestures towards a masked man.

“Tobi thinks Miss (Y/n) is very cute!” the masked man says in a high-pitched voice. (Y/n) giggles.

“Thank you, Tobi. It’s nice to meet you.” She smiles at him.

“Now, I’m assuming that you would like to know the purpose of our organization.” Pain states. (Y/n) responds with a nod.

“Our ultimate goal is to bring peace to this shinobi world. We believe this can be achieved by collecting all nine Tailed Beasts in order to resurrect the Ten Tails.” He explains.

“What? The Ten Tails?” she raises her eyebrows, a look of shock crossing her features.

“Yes. Long ago, the Sage of Six Paths separated the Ten Tails’ chakra into nine different Tailed Beasts. By making the Ten Tails whole again, we will have an unstoppable power. We will use this power to create a new world. A world without war and conflict. A world where children will not know the pain of losing a parent to the barbarity of war.” Pain looks her with sympathy in his eyes. The air feels as if it was sucked out of her lungs by his last statement. ‘_How could he know about that?_’ she thinks.

“This is our dream, and we intend to bring it to fruition,” he says. She looks down at the bouquet in front of her, her mind running a million miles a minute.

“How can I know for sure that you truly want to bring peace to this world? With such immense power, you could destroy it just as easily.” she questions.

“Because I share your pain, (Y/n).” he answers. Her head lifts to look at him, tears threatening to spill from her (e/c) eyes. The agony brought by her father’s death burns in her gut as if she just lost him yesterday. “Konan and I, we are both war orphans.” he continues. Konan nods her head in agreement. “That is why we formed the Akatsuki. To save the future generations from the cycle of pain and hatred.” she adds.

The leader stands and walks over to (Y/n), hand extending in offering.

“So, will you join us, (Y/n) of the Hidden Moon?” Pain asks.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” she mutters, looking down at her lap.

“Yes, you do.” he replies. Her head snaps up to meet his eyes at the statement.

“What do you mean? You won’t kill me if I say no?” she asks.

“No, you will not be killed. It is true, you have knowledge now that could put the organization at risk and we cannot let you leave with that kind of intel,” he explains. “But there is a way to erase it from your memory.” Pain says, looking over at Itachi.

“What? How?” she asks, more perplexed than ever.

“Itachi possesses the Sharingan, I’m sure you have heard of it.” he states. The image of the Uchiha’s strange eyes flashes in her mind. “Because of his visual prowess, he has become a master of genjutsu. If you were to decline our offer, Itachi will place you under a genjutsu and you will be returned to where Hidan found you. You will wake with no recollection of our meeting, or your encounter with Hidan.” he explains.

“Oh,” was all she could manage in response. For some reason unknown to her, she looks up at Hidan as if asking for help. This time, the smirk on his lips is gone. His heart feels heavy in his chest and he doesn’t understand why, or what it means. But she does; his pink-purple irises reflect the unmistakable look of sadness. In that moment, she gives credit to the old saying that the eyes are the gateway to the soul. No matter the expression on his face, how he acts, or what he says, his eyes will always tell the truth.

“It’s up to you, princess.” he says in an unusually soft tone. The nickname was meant to be taunting, but the tone in his voice made it sound more endearing than anything. She holds his gaze for a moment longer, then looks to Pain.

“Yes,” she says, her voice barely a whisper. “I’ll stay.”


	4. flume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I can sleep better at night now knowing Hidan is not so OOC.
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> do i dance inside your head? - VVITCH
> 
> Oh My (full) - CHVILL
> 
> stay - longlost
> 
> Anchor - Novo Amor
> 
> Weather - Novo Amor
> 
> Big Jet Plane - Angus & Julia Stone
> 
> Flume - Bon Iver

_I’ll stay_.

  


The two little words echo in Hidan’s ears, a wave of relief washing over him. _But why_? Why would she stay? More importantly, _why the fuck does he care_? Kakuzu was right; she was a stray whore, nothing else. Just another sacrifice for Lord Jashin. At least, that’s what she should be. Of the dozens of women Hidan has slept with, sacrificed, and defiled, not a single one has made him feel this way. He remembers, the satisfaction of hearing them screech out in pain, begging him to stop. Never did he feel even a hint of remorse. But it’s different now. It’s different with _her_. He can’t take his eyes off of the imprints of his fingers on her neck and chin. There’s still a part of Hidan that loves the way he’s marked her; the part that wants to drink in her screams of agony for eternity. However, there’s a new part of him that has the overwhelming sense that he must protect her with his life. A part that won’t—that _can’t—_ruin her. The feeling churns in his stomach and makes him downright nauseous.

  


“Hidan?” a soft voice calls out for him. “Are you alright?”

  


He realizes she’s speaking to him, and he blinks at her a few times. He swallows thickly and nods his head in response.

  


“It’s decided then,” Pain says, making eye contact with Hidan. “Since you are the one who recruited (Y/n), she will be your responsibility. Furthermore, she’ll be joining you and Kakuzu on missions once she’s ready.”

  


“You have got to be kidding me,” Kakuzu says, looking even more annoyed than before. “Now I have two brats to babysit?” he protests. Hidan opens his mouth to speak but is quickly hushed by Pain.

  


“The decision is final. (Y/n) is now an Akatsuki. This meeting is dismissed.” Pain states. The rest of the members bow and take their leave. “Hidan, show her to the dining area. I’m sure she must be hungry.” Pain orders. (Y/n)’s stomach growls audibly at the mention of food and Hidan chuckles, causing her to blush. “C’mon.” he says, guiding her out of the room.

  


~

  


“You can’t just scarf soup down like that after being out for three days, idiot. You’re gonna make yourself sick.” Hidan glares at her, an annoyed look on his face. “I’m not fucking holding your hair back while you blow chunks.”

  


They’re sitting in the dining room, and she’s currently slurping down her third bowl of udon. Hidan is seated across from her, looking mildly disgusted. She ignores his statement and finishes drinking the broth from her bowl, spilling a bit on her sweatshirt. She sets her bowl down and leans back in her chair, satisfied with her meal. “Oh, do you guys have any dangos? I love dangos.” she asks.

  


“No, we don’t have any fucking dangos.” Hidan says angrily. “And would it kill you to act like a functioning human being instead of a fucking barbarian? You spilled soup all over my hoodie.” he adds. She looks down at her chest, noticing the stain. ‘_It’s his sweatshirt?_’ she thinks, slightly embarrassed.

  


“Oh, sorry.” she apologizes.

  


“Whatever.” he mutters, walking over to the connected living area and plopping on the couch. (Y/n) follows him, unsure what to do. He notices and shoots her a glare.

  


“You gonna follow me around the rest of the fucking day like a lost puppy?” he shoots at her.

  


“I-uh,” she stutters, looking around quickly to find something to occupy her. She settles on leisurely browsing the bookshelf on the far wall of the room. Hidan rolls his eyes, bringing his pendant to his lips and praying quietly. (Y/n) chooses a book on medical ninjutsu and takes a seat in the lounge chair opposite of Hidan. She opens the book and begins to read.

  


A few minutes pass silently between them. (Y/n) keeps glancing at Hidan, his faint whispering distracting her from her book. Concluding that he wasn’t going to be done any time soon, she speaks up.

  


“What are you praying for?” she asks. Hidan’s brows crease in frustration, but his eyes remain shut.

  


“You don’t just fucking ask people what they’re praying for, it’s rude.” he says. “It’s also rude to interrupt them while they’re praying, didn’t you learn any fucking manners as a child?”

  


When she doesn’t respond, he opens his eyes to see her staring at him. Her face is flushed, and a thin layer of sweat has formed across her forehead. Hidan jumps off the couch at the sight.

  


“Oh no you fucking don’t.” he threatens, grabbing her by the arm and yanking her from her chair. He pulls her behind him until they’re in the kitchen and practically throws her towards the sink. Just in time, too. Hidan lets out an exasperated sigh and stomps over to her.

  


“You dumb bitch, what did I fucking tell you?” he says, clearly irritated. Hidan brushes her (h/c) hair out of her face and gathers it in his fist. He rubs her upper back gently with his other hand while she wretches.

  


“I,” she begins, spitting into the sink before continuing. “I thought you weren’t gonna hold my hair back.” she teases.

  


“Just fucking shut up, dumbass.” he says, giving her hair a slight tug. She chuckles lightly just before another wave of nausea causes her to double over. After another minute of heaving, she turns on the tap and takes a small sip of water. She wipes her mouth and Hidan releases her hair, his fingers lingering for a moment at the ends. She turns to face him, leaning on the countertop for support.

  


“Sorry.” she says softly, fidgeting with the strings of her, well—his hoodie.

  


“Why don’t you just take it easy? Let’s get you—” he says before being interrupted by (Y/n).

  


“No, I’m fine. Besides, I’ve just slept for the last 72 hours. I need to stretch my legs.” she says. “I’m gonna go for a walk.” she states, turning to exit the room but Hidan grabs her arm to stop her.

  


“No way, not without me.” he says. “You don’t even know where the fuck you are.”

  


“Sure I do. Amegakure, right?” she asks. He looks at her a bit surprised—he was sure she was out the entire trip back to the Akatsuki base.

  


“I’m not an idiot, you know. I’ve been to nearly every village, but I’ve never been to this one or Otogakure. Perpetually raining—figured it must be the Hidden Rain.” she explains.

  


“Huh, so I guess there is a brain somewhere behind that big ass forehead of yours.” he teases and pokes her on the forehead.

  


“I do not have a big forehead,” she says, swatting his hand away. “You’re a real asshole, you know that?”

  


“So I’ve been told.” he says with a grin. “While we’re out, we might as well stop by the village and get you some gear.” He reaches for his black jacket on the back of the dining room chair and slips it on. “Let’s go, princess.”

  


~

  


“Did you really have to bring the scythe?” she asks. They’re in the middle of downtown Amegakure now. The village is surprisingly lively for how gloomy the environment is. Children are playing in the rain and splash around in the puddles. The nearby tavern is full of patrons, drinking and chatting. An old woman sits on the side of the street selling baked goods. It brings a smile to (Y/n)’s face.

  


“Just because Pain watches over the village doesn’t mean we’re safe, moron. Besides, I don’t go anywhere without it.” he says.

  


“Hmph, I think I could protect the both of us just fine.” she smirks at him.

  


“Tch. No one likes a cocky bitch, ya know?” he shoots back at her.

  


“Oh? But you do.” she says, sticking out her leg to trip him. To her satisfaction, he stumbles a bit but doesn’t fall completely. “For an S-ranked shinobi, you’re not very agile.” she says with a laugh.

  


“You know what—fuck you,” he curses at her. “Go shop by your fucking self. I’m going to get a drink.” he says, pulling out his wallet. He grabs a handful of cash and leaves the rest. He folds it back up and throws it at (Y/n). She catches it and opens her mouth to protest, but he’s already walking away. She opens the wallet and thumbs through the cash—he’s left her quite a bit. A sinister grin forms on her face. ‘_Fine, if you’re going to be like that…_”

  


~

  


A few hours later, (Y/n) waltzes into the tavern with her arms full of shopping bags. She stops in front of Hidan, who is sipping on a cup of sake. He nearly chokes on his drink at the sight, causing her to smile in triumph.

  


“The fuck?!” he exclaims, causing a few patrons to look over at him. “How much did you fucking spend?”

  


“Wiped the whole thing clean.” she says matter-of-factly. “Serves you right for being a dick.”

  


“You motherfucking bitch,” he growls, but a sudden swat of a cane to the back of his head stops him. He whips himself around with murderous intent in his eyes but backs off when he sees who struck him. A short old lady with an angry scowl on her face stands with her hands on her hips.

  


“You should know better than to speak to a woman like that!” she shouts at Hidan. (Y/n) giggles and the old woman turns and points her cane at her. “And you! You shouldn’t go around spending your husband’s money so recklessly!” she yells.

  


“He’s not my husband!” “I’m not her husband!” (Y/n) and Hidan exclaim in unison.

  


“And I’m not 92 years old!” she says sarcastically. “Now get out of here before I beat the both of you!” she yells, shoving them out of the tavern. Hidan and (Y/n) stare at each other, dumbfounded by what just happened. Suddenly, (Y/n) busts out in a fit of laughter. Hidan glares at her.

  


“Oh come on,” she says in between laughs. “That was pretty fucking funny.” Hidan keeps his composure for a moment longer before his scowl cracks into a smile and joins in her laughter.

  


~

  


“Hidan, can we please take a break?” she asks, trying but failing to keep up with his Hidan’s pace. “These bags are so heavy.”

  


“Maybe you shouldn’t have spent all my fucking money then,” he says, irritated.

  


“Pleeaaseee.” she begs, being purposely overdramatic.

  


“If we take a break, will you quit being a whiny bitch?” he asks.

  


“Maybe.” she answers. Hidan lets out a loud sigh in response. He leads her over to a nearby clearing in the woods. A large, mossy rock sits at the edge of the meadow. Hidan sits and leans against it. (Y/n) drops her bags and takes a seat next to him.

  


A few moments of comfortable silence pass between them. The night is clear with every glittering star in the sky visible. The faint glow of the full moon illuminates the meadow and makes the colorful flowers appear pale. The rain has let up a bit, now only a drizzle falls from the thin clouds. (Y/n) watches as dew drops slide down the petal of a nearby camellia. She hears the sound of a lighter flick beside her. She looks over at Hidan, who is taking a long drag from his cigarette. She holds her hand out and he passes it to her.

  


“Those will kill you, ya know.” Hidan says.

  


“I could say the same to you.” she replies, taking a puff.

  


“I’m immortal, idiot.” he retorts, taking the cigarette from her. She doesn’t reply and instead gazes up at the stars.

  


“The sky tonight reminds me of Getsugakure.” she says. “You could see the night sky so clearly.” Hidan looks over at her. The moonlight covers her like a veil. It dances over her skin and hair, giving her an angelic appearance. That’s what she is, compared to him: an angel. She is light and everything that is good; he is darkness and everything that is evil.

  


“When I was a little girl, my father would lay with me in the field behind my house,” she continues. “He taught me all of the constellations and told me the stories behind them.”

  


“What was your favorite?” he asks, passing her the cigarette. She takes it between her lips and takes a few draws before continuing.

  


“Andromeda.” she says, a small smile on her lips. “Have you heard it?”

  


“No,” he replies, taking the cigarette back. “Tell me.”

  


Her gaze returns to the stars, instantly finding the constellation Andromeda.

  


“Andromeda was the daughter of Cepheus and Cassiopeia, the king and queen of Aethiopia. Her mother—Cassiopeia—was known for her incredible beauty. This made her arrogant; however, and she would often boast about her beauty. She went so far as to say she was more beautiful than the gods themselves, which angered Poseidon, the god of the sea. In response, he created the sea monster Cetus to ravage the sea and coast surrounding the kingdom. Still, Cassiopeia would not recant her claim of beauty. It was then decreed that the queen must sacrifice her only daughter Andromeda, who shared her mother’s enchanting beauty.” she says, recalling the story in perfect detail. Hidan watches her lips as she speaks and wonders briefly how they would feel against his own. ‘_Enchanting beauty, huh…_’

  


“So, Andromeda was chained to the cliffside overlooking the sea. She waited in fear for the monster, and it appeared. Just before the sea monster ravaged her, the demigod Perseus arrived to save her. Having just slain the gorgon Medusa, he was carrying her severed head with him in a special bag. He withdrew the head from the bag and held it in front of the monster so it could see it. Upon the sight of Medusa, the sea monster turned to stone. Perseus then freed the beautiful Andromeda, and claiming her as his bride, took her home with him as his queen to rule.” she finishes, looking to Hidan. His orchid eyes lock with her (e/c) ones and she blushes.

  


“But I guess it’s just a stupid fairytale.” she says, breaking his gaze.

  


“It’s not stupid.” he whispers, stubbing out his cigarette. “Which one is it?” he asks, looking up at the night sky.

  


“There, to the north.” She says, pointing to a particularly bright collection of stars. “See how it almost looks like a woman bound?”

  


“Yeah.” he says, his gaze fixated on her again. She looked content, yet sad at the same time. Melancholic would be a good word to describe her state. He thinks back to what Pain mentioned earlier, about sharing her pain. ‘_What is she thinking?_’ He momentarily considers asking her about her past, but ultimately decides against it. Hidan lets her reminisce for a few more minutes before standing.

  


“We should get going,” he says. When she doesn’t move, he realizes that she’s fallen asleep against the mossy rock. He chuckles lightly, admiring how peaceful she looks while she sleeps.

  


He sheaths his scythe and grabs her many shopping bags. Not wanting to wake her, he carefully sweeps her up bridal-style and carries her back to the base.

  


~

  


Hidan steps through the door of the compound and silently shuts it behind him. When he turns, he sees Kakuzu looking at him with an eyebrow raised.

  


“Hidan, where the hell have you been?” he asks rather loudly, causing (Y/n) to stir.

  


“Shut the hell up, Kakuzu!” Hidan says in a harsh whisper. “She’s sleeping.”

  


“What is up with you lately? Don’t tell me you’re developing feelings for the little tart.” Kakuzu questions.

  


“Just get out of my fucking way.” Hidan replies, shoving past him.

  


Hidan slides open (Y/n)’s door with his foot and walks over to the bed, placing her on it cautiously. He sets down the shopping bags on her desk and returns to her side, pulling the covers over her. She looks breathtaking with her hair splayed over the pillow and her full lips slightly parted. A small smile forms on his lips at the sight. He doesn’t understand what he’s feeling, or why he’s going out of his way to be kind to her—he’ll pray to Jashin about it later. All he knows is that when he’s with her, he feels more at peace than he’s ever felt in his entire life. It just feels _right. _‘_Maybe you are some kind of fucking goddess_’ he thinks, chuckling lightly to himself.

  


He turns to leave but is stopped by the feeling of soft fingers grasping his hand. He looks back over to her, slightly startled.

  


“Hidan,” she whispers, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

  


  


  


_“Thank you.”_


	5. sleep. sex. slaughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because the next is what we've all been waiting for.
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> Wrong - MAX (ft. Lil Uzi Vert)
> 
> Do You? - TroyBoi
> 
> Go Fuck Yourself - Two Feet
> 
> waiting so long - sam gellaitry
> 
> Mitzdi (Mallive Remix) - Whynnel

She’s roused from her sleep by the dull light of sunshine seeping in the room through the window.

(Y/n) yawns and stretches, sitting up in the bed. She looks around the room, spotting the shopping bags on her desk out of the corner of her eye. She stares at them, trying to remember how they got there—how _she_ got here. She can recall her conversation with Hidan in the meadow, but it’s hazy after that. After a few more moments of staring blankly at the shopping bags, she realizes.

‘_He carried me all the way here_?’ she thinks, looking down at her hands. The fingers on her right hand seem to tingle, and she remembers the sensation of Hidan’s calloused palm over her own. Yes, she remembers now. Although her eyes were shut and her mind was drifting to sleep, she remembers how he brought the back of her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her skin. She smiles at the memory. ‘_So the bastard does have a soft side._’

(Y/n) throws her legs over the edge of the bed, stretching her arms above her head once more for good measure. She walks over to her many shopping bags, retrieving a clean pair of leggings and panties as well as a sports bra and loose off-the-shoulder top. Grabbing the bag filled with basic toiletries, she headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair. Hidan mentioned on the way to the village that Pain wanted them to begin training immediately, so she decides to bring her (h/c) hair into a high ponytail. She tightens her hair in the tie and heads for the kitchen.

~

“Good morning, beautiful.” says a handsome blonde, passing her a cup of coffee over the island. She almost didn’t recognize Deidara. His signature half up-half down hairstyle was exchanged for a messy bun. However, his bangs remained the same and covered his left eye. Mentally, she added “endless eye candy” to the list of benefits of joining the Akatsuki.

“Good morning.” she replies, a faint blush filling her cheeks.

“Cream and sugar, un?” he asks, turning to the fridge.

“No, black is fine. Thanks, Deidara.” she answers with a smile. He gives her a wink with his exposed eye, and she represses the urge to giggle like a little schoolgirl. She takes a seat on the barstool at the island and sips her coffee.

Kakuzu is seated at the lounge chair in the living room, legs crossed and thumbing through the bingo book. His eyes briefly flick from the book to (Y/n), making eye contact with her. He nods his head—acknowledging her—but he does not speak. ‘_Yikes, this is my new teammate_?’ she thinks. He’s somehow even more intimidating than Pain, with his brows creased as if he’s constantly angry. Not to mention his eyes: red sclera and pupil-less green irises. She makes a mental note not to get on his bad side (as if he has a good one).

“Morning, (Y/n).” Kisame says, hand raising from behind the couch and waving in her direction. He doesn’t look at her though, his eyes remain fixated on the television screen in front of him which is currently running a news story on some rare weapons auction a few villages over. Itachi stands at the desk near the bookshelf. He appears to be taking inventory of his ninja tools; kunai and shuriken are spread about the table as well as two small scrolls and a stack of paper bombs.

(Y/n) smiles at the sight of her new team. She should feel uneasy and out-of-place, but she doesn’t. Instead, she feels strangely comforted—welcomed, even. She feels a warmth in her chest that she hasn’t felt since she lost her father, and she chuckles to herself. ‘_I was kidnapped, beaten, and quite nearly killed; yet I feel at home with this dysfunctional group of dangerous criminals_.’ Funny how life works.

“Where is everyone?” she asks, taking another sip of her coffee.

“Pain and Konan keep to themselves most of the time,” Deidara explains, placing a plate of white rice, fresh fruit, and sliced avocado as well as a pair of chopsticks in front of her. “Zetsu, who the hell knows, he’s always lurking around somewhere” he continues, taking a seat next to her with his own breakfast plate. “As far as Tobi goes, don’t know don’t care hn.” he says, shoving a chunk of watermelon in his mouth. “Hidan’s still sleeping. You won’t see him up before noon unless he has a mission. I’m pretty sure his motto is ‘sleep and slaughter’.” he says with a laugh. (Y/n) giggles in response.

“Sex, you forgot that one.” Kisame adds, causing (Y/n) to choke a bit on her rice.

“Oh yeah, he did tell us that didn’t he?” Deidara says, chuckling.

“Don’t remind me of that time,” Kakuzu speaks up. “Uncivilized brat.” he adds, shaking his head at the memory.

“Do I even want to know?” (Y/n) asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course, you need to know how much of a dumbass bastard your new partner is hn,” Deidara states and begins to tell her the tale. “Me, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Hidan went out for drinks one night after a mission. One bottle of sake and a few whiskey shots later, Hidan climbed on top of the bar making a complete fool of himself, babbling on about his stupid Jashin.” Deidara explains.

“That sounds terrible.” (Y/n) says with a laugh.

“Oh, it gets worse hn,” he continues. “So, he grabs this insanely expensive pint of tequila from the top shelf and proceeds to chug the whole damn thing like some kind of frat boy. After, he slammed the glass bottle down on the bar and shattered it, exclaiming ‘It’s what I fucking do! Sleep. Sex. Slaughter!’” Deidara and Kisame burst out in a fit of laughter, and Kakuzu glares at them.

“Needless to say, we all got kicked out of the bar and Kakuzu got stuck with the bill. I think the pint he smashed was like 11,000 yen.” Deidara snorts.

“And you didn’t kill him?” (Y/n) asks, looking over to Kakuzu.

“Believe me, I tried.” he replies, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a migraine coming on.

(Y/n) wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. Even the stoic Itachi Uchiha had cracked a small smile.

“Anyway, what are you up to today?” Deidara asks, scooting a bit closer to (Y/n). “I’d love to show you my artwork, un.” he says in a flirty tone.

“I can’t today actually,” she replies, finishing the last of her coffee. “Pain wants Hidan and I to start training immediately.” she states, giving him an apologetic look.

“Bummer, how about sometime tomorrow hn?” Deidara asks, brushing a stray hair from (Y/n)’s face and tucking it behind her ear. She blushes at his actions and averts her gaze.

“Sure, after my training.” she replies.

“Great! It’ll be a real blast, hn!” he exclaims. She smiles and stands to bring her dishes to the sink.

“I should probably go wake him up then,” she says, rinsing the plate and mug.

“Good luck with that.” Kakuzu says from the living room as (Y/n) disappears down the hallway.

~

“Hidan!” (Y/n) yells, fist knocking on the door furiously. She’s been knocking for the past five minutes, and she was starting to lose patience. “Get up, you lazy bastard! We have training!”

Suddenly, the door flings open, an angry and _severely underdressed_ Hidan standing on the other side. His hair was dripping wet, and his naked form was only covered by a small towel slung lowly around his hips. (Y/n) blinked quickly a few times, obviously flustered.

“Who the fuck are you calling a lazy bastard, bitch?” he yells at her, squaring his shoulders as if he needed to look even more menacing than he already does to the small woman. She shakes her head and regains her composure.

“Look, I don’t wanna piss off Pain and you’re making that really fucking difficult!” she yells back at him.

“Can I not take a fucking shower first? I never get any god damn peace around here!” he whines.

“Quit acting like a fucking child, then maybe you’ll get some peace.” she retorts.

“You should watch your fucking mouth, little girl.” he says, narrowing his eyes at her. His deeper tone was a bit jarring, but she knew he was just fucking with her…at least she thinks so. Hidan can be a difficult man to read.

“Just hurry the hell up.” she orders. He scoffs at her, sliding the door shut with such force that it bounces back open a few inches. Hidan doesn’t realize this, since his back is now facing the door. (Y/n) stands there stunned as he whips off his towel, rubbing it vigorously through his wet hair. He tosses it to the floor, revealing his tousled silver locks. Her eyes begin to dip from his broad shoulders down his perfectly sculpted back, but she quickly looks away and scurries down the hall when he seems to notice her presence.

‘_Jesus Christ get ahold of yourself (Y/n)_’ she thinks while she puts on her shinobi sandals. She leans against the wall next to the stairway, her breathing a bit ragged partially because of what she just saw and partially because of the fact that she nearly got caught being a pervert. She takes a few deep breaths and pulls herself together when she hears Hidan’s footsteps coming down the hallway. After all, the best way to deal with sexual tension without having sex is to beat the living shit out of said person, right?

Wrong.

~

They decide on training beside a small river not too far from the base. The rain was coming down in a thin sheet, and thunder could be heard in the far distance. They should be finished before the worst of the storm reaches them.

When they reach the grassy area next to the stream, (Y/n) drops her pack and stretches a bit. She hears Hidan drop his pack behind her, and in the blink of an eye her face is now shoved in the wet grass, arms bound behind her back by a set of strong hands.

“What the hell, Hidan?!” she yells, raising her head so she’s not face-first in the ground.

“Training starts now, bitch.” he says, pushing her head back into the ground roughly with his foot. She could practically hear the smirk in his voice. _Cocky bastard_.

She kicked one of her legs back and struck Hidan in the back of the knee that he wasn’t using to hold her in place, causing it to give out for a moment. Taking the opportunity she’s given herself, she manages to flip herself over and place a palm on the bottom of his foot, sending a crystal spear directly through it. To her delight, Hidan stumbles backwards and falls straight onto his ass, cursing all the while.

“You bitch!” he snarls at her, pulling the spear from his foot. She springs to her feet and wipes the mud from her face before she speaks.

“You wanna play dirty? I can play dirty.”


	6. bloodthirst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last, the smut ensues. I rewrote this chapter like five times--I'm not so confident in my lemon writing skills. Anyway, hopefully its bearable and not completely cringey. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Cha.
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> After Dark - Mr. Kitty
> 
> Syrup (Kavale Remix) - TEA
> 
> HotelSixNine (ft. SolomonThaGod) - corbin
> 
> Play With Fire (ft. Yacht Money) - SamTinnesz
> 
> Toxic Wonderland - ryannnlin
> 
> Daddy Issues - The Neighbourhood
> 
> $TING - The Neighbourhood

“God damn, you’re really not holding back are you?” (Y/n) asks, spitting blood from her mouth. She came dangerously close to taking a scythe to the face. Luckily, she was able to immobilize him temporarily by encasing him with her crystals. His blade still managed to slice her lower lip though, causing her to bleed a significant amount.

“Princess, I never fucking hold back.” Hidan replies with a shit-eating grin, pulling another spear from his shoulder and shattering the remainder of her crystals from his feet.

“I think you’re just too much of a pussy, keeping your distance from me with that scythe of yours.” she teases, blood dripping down her chin.

“Again with that fucking mouth of yours,” he says, swinging his blade behind him and embedding it in a nearby tree. “Fine, taijutsu only. No weapons. No kekkei genkai.” he says.

“That’s more like it.” she says, tugging off her soaking wet top and toeing off her shoes. (Y/n) releases her drenched hair, letting the (h/c) strands cascade down her back. She remains only in her sports bra and skin-tight leggings, leaving little to Hidan’s imagination. Usually, a woman with such confidence would be a turn off for him, but he loves the challenge she’s giving him. The challenge to make her submit to him. To totally dominate her. ‘_I’m going to fucking break her_’ he thinks, grinning at the thought.

Hidan follows suit, kicking off his sandals and peeling off his shirt. She watches as raindrops glisten on his fair skin and slide down the expanse of his muscular chest to his toned abs. His rosary hangs loosely around his neck, swaying with his movements. She unconsciously licks her lips at the sight.

“See something you like, slut?” he questions. The lewd nickname causes heat to pool low in her stomach, but there’s no way she’s going to give him the satisfaction of a reaction from her. Instead, she cracks her knuckles to distract herself.

“Yeah, something I’d like to fucking punch.” she spits back at him.

“Fucking try it.” Hidan says, taking a defensive stance.

With that, she charges towards him. She ducks and slides past him, avoiding his fist. Whipping herself around, she nearly lands a kick to his head, but he blocks it at the last second. He grabs her foot, twisting her ankle painfully. (Y/n) lets out a yelp and falls to the ground, and Hidan’s on top of her in an instant. He takes a moment to admire how she looks beneath him, arms pinned above her head, her breasts rising and falling with her labored breathing. Her wet hair sticks to her face in clumps. Blood from her cut coats her bottom lip, and he wants so badly to taste her. She squirms under his grasp and raises her chin at him in defiance. If it were any other woman, he would’ve ripped off her clothes and taken her by now. But (Y/n) is no ordinary woman, at least not to Hidan.

He lowers his head to the side of her neck, his hot breath raising goosebumps on the sensitive skin there.

“Gotcha, bitch.” he whispers. Unable to resist any longer, he drags his tongue over the soft spot below her ear, causing her to shiver.

It takes all of her willpower not to submit to him. She knows the game he’s playing, and damn is he good at it, but there’s not a chance in hell she’s giving up that easy. In a flash, she knees him in the stomach and headbutts him. His head lurches backwards and his hand instantly flies to his nose, which is now bleeding profusely and most definitely broken. He starts laughing that same maniacal laugh he did before, clearly enjoying the pain she inflicted on him. ‘_Psychotic fucking masochist_’ she thinks as he rises to his feet, nowhere near done with her yet.

~

Nearly twenty minutes of raw, hand-to-hand combat pass by. Hidan may have (Y/n) beat when it comes to brute strength, but her taijutsu skills surpass his and she’s much faster on her feet. He may have extraordinary healing abilities, but she can tell he’s getting sluggish. Using this to her advantage, she catches him off-guard and is able to land a strong kick to the center of his chest. He lands on the ground with a satisfying thud, effectively knocking the wind out of him. She straddles him and pins him by the shoulders as he coughs, trying to catch his breath.

“Gotcha, bitch.” she rasps in between pants, grinning down at him in triumph. To her surprise, he doesn’t reply or appear angry. He simply holds her gaze, a look of bewilderment crossing his features as if he’s discovered some new species of rare flower. It’s a strange look for Hidan, but she can’t deny how handsome he looks with his brows knitted together in concentration and his mouth slightly agape, his breathing slowly returning to normal. (Y/n) finds herself lost in his vibrant magenta irises, still unable to grasp how such a cold, violent man could possess such expressive eyes. She could spend her whole lifetime swimming in them, chasing his pretty thoughts. Her eyes drift past his strong jawline, and she absentmindedly spreads her palms over his chest, watching as the dark bruises that pepper his skin fade and return to flawless ivory. He shifts beneath her, and she’s suddenly acutely aware of how her aching sex is pressed against his own. Involuntarily, she rolls her hips against his, a low hum escaping her lips.

Hidan’s eyes widen a fraction at her response, his insides heating up and pooling below his waist like lava. He’s not sure if what he just felt and heard was real, so he squeezes her hips in his large hands and grinds himself into her again.

This time, she lets out a small gasp and her eyes flutter shut as she reciprocates his movement. Now sure of himself, he flips her over in an instant so that he’s now on top of her. She yelps in surprise and looks up at him to find that his orchid eyes have darkened, his sinful lips formed into a devilish smirk.

“I knew you were a cock-hungry slut,” Hidan says, tightening his grip on her hips. “I fucking _knew_ it.”

She should be angry, but she wants this more than her own life at the moment, so she doesn’t fight him when his mouth latches to her neck and presses wet, open-mouthed kisses along her skin. He pauses when he reaches the spot where her neck connects with her shoulder, her breath hitching in her throat before he bites her hard enough to draw blood. She lets out a loud moan and her hand flies to the back of his head, fisting in his damp hair. Hidan laughs into her shoulder.

“And I’m the fucking masochist.” he says before slamming his lips against hers.

_Iron._

He tastes like iron, metallic and bitter.

The kiss is nothing short of a battle for dominance. He forces her mouth open with his tongue, demanding to taste more of her. (Y/n) retaliates by taking his bottom lip between her teeth and biting down forcefully, causing Hidan to groan and thrust his hips sharply into her. She smiles wickedly against his lips and gives his hair a quick yank, causing his head to jerk backwards. She’s rewarded with another groan and seizes the opportunity to drag her tongue along his exposed collarbone. _It’s so much better when they’re so fucking responsive._

Never ever has Hidan allowed a woman to touch his hair. The one whore who dared to thread her fingers through his precious strands ended up as his next sacrifice to Jashin after he fucked her into oblivion. He doesn’t tolerate defiance of any kind and demands total submission. Well, at least he did until now.

Truth be told, his masochistic tendencies were always reserved for his rituals. It was something he found deeply intimate, something he shared only between himself and his god. The pleasure he felt when he shed his own blood in the name of Jashin was not sexual in nature, neither was the pleasure he felt his when his blood was shed at the hands of another during combat. He’s pondered it of course, how it would feel to have a woman inflict pain upon him during sexual intimacy. But he would never permit it—the idea of being so vulnerable to another was unnerving to Hidan. He believed that if it ever were to happen, it would come naturally to him. It would be with someone he had a deep connection with, who he could trust.

But Hidan has never had a deep connection with anything aside from his religion and has sure as hell never trusted anyone. Hidan had a better chance at actually dying than being capable of loving someone. He knew this, so he concluded that his desire would be left unfulfilled for his entire immortal life.

So he’s absolutely _fucking perplexed_ as to why he doesn’t even so much as flinch when her teeth tear at the delicate skin of his lower lip, or why he doesn’t feel the immediate urge to cut her hand clean off when it snakes its way into his quicksilver locks. Why _her_? Why some stuck-up broad who thinks she’s so special with her prissy little kekkei genkai that he just met less than a week ago? His mind can’t come up with any answers at the moment, because she’s pulling away from his neck and in an instant she rids herself of her bra, revealing her full breasts and pert nipples. Hidan’s cock throbs at the sight and he wastes no time taking her left nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive peak. Again her hand finds his hair, tugging lightly as he works her.

“Ah-ah!” she moans and bucks her hips wildly into his, desperately seeking friction. Hidan laughs into her breasts, taking a nipple between his teeth and biting down a bit harder than necessary. This causes another violent buck of her hips and her head to drop back onto her shoulders in pleasure.

Hidan removes himself from her and she whines at the loss. His hands move to the waistband of her pants and in one swift motion he peels them from her, leaving her only in her skinny black thong. His fingers immediately find her clit, pressing his middle and ring finger roughly against the bundle of nerves. (Y/n) shrieks, nearly climaxing on the spot.

“Damn you’re a noisy bitch,” Hidan says with a smirk. “It’s like you fucking _want_ someone to hear us. What a whore.”

“You talk too fucking much.” she pants. She lurches forward to grasp the waistband of his pants but is stopped by Hidan’s strong hands wrapping tightly around her wrists.

“Let me do something.” he says, releasing her from his grip. She arches an eyebrow when he brings the inside of his own wrist to his lips and bites down with such force that blood immediately starts pouring from the veins there. (Y/n) peers at him, clearly confused, but he says nothing. Instead, he stands and sticks his bleeding arm straight out in front of him. He squeezes his hand into a fist, causing blood to gush from his wound and fall to the ground. He repeats the action two more times before swiping his foot through the puddle of blood.

It doesn’t take her long to realize what he’s doing. Her heart races as he finishes surrounding her in his holy emblem. _He wasn’t really going to kill her now, was he?_

“Hidan,” she whispers, voice nearly inaudible. He returns to her field of vision, this time with every inch of his perfect skin exposed to her.

She’s frozen as he kneels before her. He caresses her neck with his right hand and brings his lips to hers again, flinching when he bites down on her bottom lip. The cut from earlier reopens, causing blood to ooze slowly from the broken skin. He kisses her, tongue swiping over the wound as he does so. Her eyes flutter shut at the sensation.

When she opens her eyes, his ivory skin is painted with stripes of ebony and white.

(Y/n) gasps at the sight and attempts to pull away from him, but he doesn’t let her. With a brisk jerk, he rips off her panties and pulls her into his lap. He tilts her chin upwards, forcing her to make eye contact with him.

“Fucking trust me, okay?” he asks, his voice surprisingly soft. She nods her head in response.

“Good girl.” he says, wrapping a hand around her waist. The hand he was using to hold her chin moves to the back of her head and his mouth returns to her neck, which is now most certainly bruised with his kisses and bites. She moans softly and drapes her arms over his shoulders, one hand at the back of his neck. He sucks at the soft spot near her collar bone, causing her to dig her nails into the skin just below his hairline. At the same time, she feels Hidan dig his own fingernails into her neck. It takes her only a few seconds to understand that wasn’t possible; his hands haven’t moved from her waist or her hair. Suddenly, the realization hits her.

_They were sharing each other’s pain. _

Hidan hums into her neck in confirmation as if he could read her mind. She doesn’t know how or why, but what she does know is that his bare cock is _achingly_ close to her dripping entrance. All at once, her fear melts away and is replaced by unbearable desire for him. All of _him_. More than anything, she wants _his_ _pain_.

_Pain can be so addicting, can’t it?_

Without warning, she takes his cock in her fist and slides the tip down her throbbing sex. In one quick motion, she takes his entire length into her tight cunt. (Y/n) screams when he hits the hilt, her nails piercing the flesh of his shoulders.

“Fuck!” Hidan exclaims, groaning loudly into her neck. His hands fly to her hips, squeezing them painfully. A moment or two passes like this, his cock buried in her pussy and his head resting in the crook of her neck. He relishes in the sensation of her walls clamped around his member, committing it thoroughly to his memory.

“Hidan,” she whines, her pussy tightening impossibly around him. “Fucking. Move.”

She doesn’t have to ask twice. His hips snap upwards and he begins to thrust into her, setting a brutal pace. She braces herself with her hands on his shoulders and wraps her legs around his hips, desperately wanting him deeper inside of her. Hidan isn’t sure what’s louder; her screams or the nearby thunder.

“Greedy little bitch.” he pants, his thrusts slowing so he can watch as his cock disappears inside of her. He comes to a near halt, only barely sliding the tip of his dick in and out of her. (Y/n) moans impatiently, trying but failing to sink back onto his length due to his vice-like grip on her hips.

“P-Please Hidan,” she whimpers.

“Please what, slut?” he asks, pinching one of her nipples between his fingers.

“Fuck me. Please, Hidan.” she begs.

“Well, since you asked so fuckin’ nicely.” he says before slamming into her again. Normally, he would drag this out and tease her until she was a screaming, dripping mess—but not now. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t need this just as much as she does.

He decides to give her some control and lets her to ride him. Her pace is no less unforgiving than his own, and he finds himself climbing _dangerously_ fast to his blissful end. He clenches his teeth and grabs a fistful of her hair, pulling hard at the damp (h/c) strands.

Unconsciously, crystal fragments form over each of her fingertips, not unlike that of an eagle’s talons. Without hesitation, she digs them deep into the flesh of his shoulders and drags them down the length of his back. At the same time, she feels two sets of claws slice into her spine. She screams, her back arching and head dropping backwards onto her shoulder blades.

“God fucking damn it.” Hidan grits out, taking the opportunity to regain control of their pace. To his surprise, she starts to laugh above him, causing him to slow to a near stop. She’s not laughing at him—it’s something else. It’s the same laugh as his own. _Is she…enjoying this?_

He looks up to her in an attempt to read her, and one glance at her confirms his theory. Her head is still thrown back, her shoulders shaking as she laughs. She lifts her head and grins down at him, giggling all the while. His eyes meet hers, and it’s as if he’s looking into a mirror. Her (e/c) eyes reflect his emotions.

_Hunger._

_Bloodthirst._

Without warning, her lips come crashing down against his into a brief, messy kiss, and he can’t help but laugh himself. She pulls away from him, her grin wide as can be.

“Hmm,” she hums, rolling her hips against his. His fingers press into the broken skin on the small of her back, and she moans loudly when his cock twitches inside of her.

“More.” she says before dragging her crystal claws down his chest, grinding into him harder. He watches as fresh scratches form on the skin just above her breasts, the blood running down and coating her nipples.

“Fuck, I knew you were fucking special.” he says, her heart fluttering at his words. He hadn’t meant to say it aloud, only think it. But he didn’t care. He buries his face between her breasts, lapping up every drop of blood she has to give him. It’s not enough though, not for (Y/n). She wants to give him more. She wants to give him _fucking everything_. She begins riding him wildly like a woman starved, causing him to groan into her chest and thrust into her harder than ever.

“More, Hidan. Harder!” she screams.

“That’s right bitch, scream my name. Fucking scream it!” he says, fucking her with such force that he may very well have broken her if she was an ordinary woman.

And she does scream his name, over and over again like a mantra. Thunder claps above, the rain pouring down around them. Hidan lets out a string of curses and his thrusts become sloppy. She’s so close she can hardly hold herself back, but she wants to bring him over the edge with her.

“Hidan! Please Hidan, give it to me, give me fucking everything!” she yells.

“So fucking impatient,” he rasps, moving his hand between them. “Come for me. Now.” he says, pinching her clit between his fingers.

In an instant, her vision explodes with white and she screams, waves of pleasure crashing into her seemingly endlessly.

“Fuck, (Y/n)!” he exclaims, giving her one final, powerful thrust. Impossibly, she’s sent over the edge again, her walls clenching down on his pulsing cock almost painfully as he fills her to the brim with his seed. Their climax is…violent, to say the least.

They’re both a panting, bloody mess when they come down from their high. Neither of them move though; they stay like this, with Hidan inside her and their foreheads resting against each other. She watches as his skin returns to its former color, his wounds already sealing. Absentmindedly, she pulls him closer to her, not ready for him to leave her just yet. Hidan had no intentions of separating from her though. He places a gentle kiss to her abused lips, and she lets out a content sigh as he pulls away.

“I’ve never done that before.” Hidan says, pushing back the wet strands of hair that stick to her face.

“What, had sex? Explains a lot.” she teases.

“Don’t fucking act like that wasn’t the best lay of your life, bitch.” he retorts. He’s not angry though, in fact, he can’t remember the last time he was this at ease. To his disappointment, she unravels herself from him. She stands on wobbly legs, his orgasm trickling down her thighs.

“Where are you going?” he asks, rising to his feet.

“To clean up.” she says, flipping her hair onto her shredded back. “Are you coming?” she asks over her shoulder.

Hidan says nothing and follows her to the edge of the river. He watches as she steps in and disappears beneath the water. She winces when the water reaches the small of her back, and a foreign pang of guilt shoots through Hidan’s chest.

“Does it hurt?” he asks suddenly. ‘_No shit it fucking hurts, idiot_’ he thinks, slapping himself mentally.

“Yeah,” she replies, brushing her hair to one shoulder and craning her neck to assess the damage. “I like it though.” she says, splashing the water over her wounds. To her surprise, the lacerations are nowhere near as deep as they feel. She pokes at her skin, knowing damn well she ripped into his flesh much deeper than this.

“It’s my blood.” Hidan states plainly, stepping into the stream.

“Huh?” she says, shooting him a confused glance. He splashes two handfuls of water on his face and slicks back his hair before elaborating.

“My blood—it doesn’t just restore chakra. It can heal others if ingested. It takes a fucking while, but you seem to be healing faster than normal.” he explains. “That’s why you bounced back so quickly after drinking my blood when you first got here. I fractured your fucking femur, you know?”

“You…you did?” she asks, her fingers grazing over her injured thigh. Most of the stitches had fallen out already. She hadn’t even noticed.

“Yeah,” Hidan says, now standing in front of her. He runs a finger lazily over the slash on her thigh. “They’ll just be scars soon.”

Their eyes meet and Hidan looks down at her with a half-smile. ‘_Beautiful_’ he thinks, brushing his thumb over her bottom lip. (Y/n) blushes at his gentle gesture. Above them, another roar of thunder bellows and a flash of light briefly illuminates the sky.

“We should probably go before we get struck by lightning.” she says, but he doesn’t break her gaze. He’s staring at her again, the same bewildered look on his face from before. Something reflects in his orchid eyes—is it…_longing_? She finds herself lost in his thoughts yet again; she feels like she could drown in them.

“Okay.” Is all he says, his fingers lingering on her lips for a moment before pulling them away.

_What is it you desire in this eternal life of yours, Hidan?_


	7. slip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kind of all over the place. But sometimes, you just gotta send it. Cha.
> 
> Songs for this chapter:
> 
> Slip - Elliot Moss
> 
> Blood - City and Colour
> 
> Smother - Daughter
> 
> Family - Noah Gundersen
> 
> Look Out - James Vincent McMorrow
> 
> Without U (prod. Greaf) - corbin
> 
> Give Up At 2 - Sofi de la Torre

“What the hell took you two so long?” Kakuzu asks as the pair walk into the living room, dripping water onto the wood floor all the while.

“Got caught in the rain.” Hidan replies casually, kicking off his shoes. Kakuzu sighs frustratedly in response.

“You really expect me to believe that, Hidan?” he says, shooting Hidan a pointed glare.

“Frankly I don’t expect you to believe shit, Kakuzu.” he retorts. Kakuzu rolls his eyes but says nothing in response.

“(Y/n) you’re back, un.” Deidara says, sauntering into the room and over to her with complete disregard for Hidan. He takes his thumb and runs it over her injured lip, just as Hidan had earlier.

“Look at what he’s done to that gorgeous face of yours,” he says. He moves a hand to her hip and leans in, bringing his lips to her ear.

“You let me know if that psychopath is being too rough with you, hn.” Deidara whispers. “You can talk to me, (Y/n).” he adds, squeezing her hip lightly. She winces the slightest bit as his fingers push on the fresh bruises Hidan put there only an hour before. Deidara arches an eyebrow, processing her reaction. She watches as his face contorts in anger when he realizes what happened, directing his eyes at Hidan. If looks could kill and if Hidan could die, he would surely be dead from the glare cast at him. Deidara opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by Hidan ripping him from (Y/n)’s side. In an instant, he’s thrown against the nearby wall, the mirror hung there shattering from the force. Hidan pins him by the throat with his forearm and narrows his eyes at the blonde.

“Didn’t I fucking tell you not to fucking touch her?” he yells, increasing the pressure on Deidara’s neck.

“And what makes you think you own her, hm?” Deidara asks. “You’re supposed to be training her, not abusing her you sadistic freak!”

“_Abusing her_?” Hidan scoffs. “You know nothing, pretty boy.”

“Oh really? What I do know is that you’re a homicidal maniac.” Deidara starts and Hidan clenches his teeth in anger.

“I also know how you use women. Did he tell you, hm (Y/n)? How he takes innocent girls, beats them, rapes them, and slaughters in the name of his false god?” he yells, looking over Hidan’s shoulder at (Y/n). “Did he tell you he was a fucking monster, hm?”

Hidan glances out of the corner of his eye at (Y/n), who is currently looking at him horrified. She knew Hidan was fucked in the head, but not to this extent. It wasn’t true—it couldn’t be. She touches her fingers to her bottom lip, remembering his gentle touch and how he looked at her. She shouldn’t be surprised; she knew nothing about him, after all. Suddenly, a disturbing realization hits her.

_I trusted him._

Blind, reckless trust based on her ridiculous emotions. Was that what she was to him? Another woman to defile and kill? Has he been manipulating her from the beginning? But why bring her here, to join the Akatsuki? None of it made sense. She wasn’t expecting anything from him, not even a friendship; what they did was a one-time thing. Heat of the moment, if you will. But she didn’t anticipate him to be so…_cruel_.

It’s as if he can hear all of the questions rolling around in her head, causing a flicker of guilt to flash across his pink-purple irises. She looks absolutely revolted, and he feels like his chest is caving in at the sight. The sound of Deidara’s laughter causes him to snap his attention back to the blonde.

“Look at her, she’s disgusted. _You’re_ disgusting.” he says, his voice dripping with contempt. Hidan and Deidara have never seen eye-to-eye about anything and have had their share of sprawls with each other, but nothing like this. Up to this point, they tolerated each other for the most part. The worst part of it all was that Deidara _wasn’t_ lying. He did all of those things and more. Somewhere deep down, he knows the truth.

That he’s a _monster_.

That he’s _disgusting_.

All at once, his rage gets the better of him. He punches the blonde square in the nose causing blood to gush from his nostrils instantly. Another, and another, then he notices Deidara’s hand reaching for his clay pouch. Hidan grabs his arm, twisting until he hears the satisfying crack of his wrist. But Deidara is already a step ahead of him, his other hand ready to release a batch of explosive clay spiders. Deciding it was time to intervene before they destroyed the entire base, Kakuzu rises from his chair and sends a hand flying to Hidan’s shoulder, yanking him away from the young artist.

“That’s enough.” Kakuzu says. Surprisingly, Hidan doesn’t try to lunge for Deidara again. Instead, he shrugs off Kakuzu’s hand and stomps right out the door they came inside from, barefoot and all. He didn’t even care to take his scythe. Kakuzu pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration and lets out a sigh.

“Deidara, pick up this mess.” he orders, gesturing to the broken mirror.

“Wha—hell no! Why should I have to pick it up? It’s his fault.” Deidara argues.

“Shut up and do as I say.” Kakuzu says with a glare. “I don’t care for Hidan in the slightest, but even I know that was too far.”

“She has a right to know, un!” Deidara yells back.

“And Hidan has a right to tell her when he’s ready.” Kakuzu states plainly. Deidara throws his hands up in exasperation.

“You know for a fact he was never going to tell her, hn.” he says.

“What Hidan does is none of my business. I suggest you stay out of it as well.” Kakuzu warns.

(Y/n) hasn’t moved an inch, her gaze fixated on the glass shards that litter the floor. Kakuzu is right. What he does is none of her business either. But knowing that she allowed herself to be so raw with him is what unsettles her. She’s no different than those other women.

Other than the fact that she’s not dead. At least, not yet.

And then there’s something else.

It’s something she can’t pinpoint. Something in the way he looked at her, the way he touched her, the way he shared his pain with her. Is that what he meant earlier?

_“I’ve never done that before.”_

His soft words echo in her ears.

_“I knew you were fucking special.”_

Is there truth in his words? Again, the logical side of her screams no, but there’s still that nagging feeling in her gut. The feeling that made her trust him in the first place. The feeling that makes her believe that his words are true. But her thoughts are interrupted by the sensation of a soft hand caressing her cheek. She flinches harshly at the touch, still on edge from the whole situation.

“(Y/n), are you alright?” a bloodied blonde asks, peering down at her through his ocean eyes. For whatever reason, she’s angry. Not only at Hidan, but at Deidara as well. She has no right to be—he was only trying to protect her. As much as it kills her, she can’t fight the overwhelming urge to defend Hidan. She’s not just angry that Deidara told her, but also that he took the opportunity from Hidan to tell her himself. Her frustration with her conflicted emotions bubble over, and she smacks Deidara’s hand away from her face. A hurt look crosses the blonde’s features, but it fades quickly to concern for the young kunoichi.

“(Y/n), he’s toying with you, un. This is all just part of his sick, twisted game.” he says.

“I think you should listen to Kakuzu, Deidara.” is all she says before turning on her heel and heading towards her bedroom. She hears Deidara’s footsteps begin to follow her, but he stops when he hears Kakuzu’s voice.

“Leave her be. She needs time to process.” he says.

“How can you stand here and not care at all about her wellbeing, un! She’s your teammate too.” Deidara argues. Kakuzu leans against the wall, crossing his arms in front of him.

“If she were anyone else, Hidan would have killed her by now.” Kakuzu replies. “Something is going on with him. Are you that stupid to not notice how protective he is of her?”

“I—well…” Deidara stutters.

“This is not like Hidan. I don’t know what has come over him, but he didn’t leave that room the entire time she was out. Not even to sleep.” Kakuzu says.

“Are you telling me that lunatic has feelings for (Y/n), hn?” Deidara asks defensively.

“I’m not telling you anything. It’s merely an observation.” he answers.

“Hn, well I’m not buying it.” Deidara scoffs.

~

(Y/n) stands under the stream of hot water for a long while. Her body is fatigued from training and her mind is exhausted from overthinking. She thinks of nothing in particular now, only the sound of the water hitting the shower floor fills her thoughts.

An hour later, her brain is still radio silent. She lays horizontally across her bed, her now dry hair cascading over the edge. Someone had washed her clothes and sheets—likely Konan. She absentmindedly fidgets with the strings of Hidan’s sweatshirt, eyes staring up at the ceiling. Five more minutes pass until she’s had enough. She sits up and pulls on a pair of shorts before heading out the door.

~

Rarely does the rain ever let up in Amegakure, and tonight is one of those rare occurrences. Not a single drop of water falls from the night sky as she approaches the edge of the meadow. In the dim light of the moon, she can vaguely make out Hidan’s form laying amongst the sea of saffron flowers. She notices the large rock they leaned against once before was now destroyed, as well as some surrounding trees. Neither Hidan nor (Y/n) say a word as she lays next to him. He doesn’t look at her; rather, he _can’t_ look at her. Not right now. Minutes of silence pass between them, both of their gazes focused on the stars above. Finally, Hidan is the first to speak.

“How did you know I’d be here?” he asks.

“I just knew.” she replies plainly.

Hidan says nothing, only the chorus of crickets and frogs in the distance filling the air.

“What did you mean earlier, when you said you had never done that before?” she asks. Hidan musters the courage to glance at her, and his lips part slightly in a silent gasp. She’s still looking to the stars, her (h/c) hair spread around her and intertwining with the meadow flowers. It’s as if she becomes more beautiful every time he sees her—never failing to take his breath away. He notices that she’s wearing his sweatshirt and little else, only barely can he see the hem of her shorts peeking from underneath the grey fabric. His heart swells at the sight. _Is it possible that he hasn’t completely lost her?_

“I’ve never used the ritual…in _that_ way.” he answers.

“Why me?” she asks, her eyes meeting his momentarily before he quickly looks away.

“I don’t know. I don’t know fucking anything anymore.” Hidan says honestly. She doesn’t know it, but she’s made a complete mess of his thoughts and emotions.

“You’re not a monster, Hidan.” she whispers, causing him to look over to her in surprise. “Not to me.”

Slowly, she takes his hand in her own, her thumb grazing lightly over his bloodied knuckles.

“So please, come home.” she says, giving his hand a slight squeeze. “With me.”

His eyes scan her (e/c) ones, and he knows she’s not lying. The shock on his face fades and is replaced by a delicate softness. He has no idea how or why she decided to forgive him, but he’s not going to dwell on it. Truth is, she doesn’t know why either. All she knows is that she’s done fighting with her emotions; she’ll go where her heart takes her, even if it leads her straight to him. Hidan gives her a half smile that practically makes her melt and squeezes her hand back.

“Okay.”

~

The next morning, she’s the first one awake.

She hums as she flips a pancake, still dressed in her shorts and Hidan’s hoodie. Kakuzu trudges into the kitchen a few minutes later, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Morning Kakuzu!” she chimes, offering him a steaming mug of black coffee. He arches an eyebrow at her questioningly and takes the cup. She notices that he’s not wearing his hood or his mask and looks much less menacing—handsome, even.

“Huh, so you do have hair under that hood after all, old man.” she teases, reaching towards him and taking a strand of his long black hair between her fingers. The skeptical look on his face intensifies at her cheerful demeanor.

“You’re awfully chipper this morning.” he says, taking a seat at the island. She ignores his statement and places a plate in front of him.

“Pancake?” she asks, plopping the hotcake on his plate before returning to the stove. “The sausage will be done soon. Oh, and I cut up some strawberries. They’re in the fridge.”

“No…thank you.” he says, pushing the plate away from him. Seriously believing he’s under some sort of genjutsu, he makes the release sign with one hand. Nothing changes though, and he sighs into his coffee mug.

“Do you have a mission today? I was thinking you could train with me and Hidan. I want to see everyone’s abilities, ya know?” she says, nudging the pan of sausage.

“No, but I’m going on a hunt.” he replies.

“Oh, maybe some other time.” she says. “Deidara was going to show me his art today anyway.”

He doesn’t reply as Kisame and Itachi walk into the room, already fully dressed in their cloaks and sandals.

“Good morning boys.” (Y/n) says. “Breakfast?”

“Thank you (Y/n), but we’re in a hurry.” Itachi replies. “We have a long way to travel for our assignment.”

“Too bad.” she says, transferring the sausages to a large plate. Kisame accepts her offer though, taking a pancake from the counter with his hand as if it was finger-food. She giggles as he scarfs it down hungrily.

“I like her.” Kisame says with a mouthful of pancake. He reaches for a sausage, but she swats his hand away with her spatula.

“Hey! Those are hot!” she warns. He ignores her though, grabbing two from the plate before turning to leave.

“Thanks (Y/n)!” he says over his shoulder as he walks out the door with Itachi. “Ouch, shit!” she hears Kisame swear from the stairwell. Shortly after, Deidara walks in with Tobi by his side, chatting his ear off.

“Oh, that smells so good!” Tobi says, taking a seat at the island next to Kakuzu. Deidara sighs tiredly as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

“Here you go.” (Y/n) says, dropping a stack of pancakes on Tobi’s plate. She retrieves the sliced strawberries from the fridge and places them on the counter as well as a jar of maple syrup.

“Thanks a lot, Miss (Y/n)!” Tobi says.

“Please Tobi, just call me (Y/n).” she chuckles.

“Okay, (Y/n).” he replies happily. She turns her attention to Deidara and pokes him in the arm. He looks over at her, a bit startled.

“Look, Deidara. I’m really sorry about how I acted last night.” she says quietly.

“You don’t need to apologize, un.” he replies. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

“You should tell Hidan that.” she says.

“Hmph.” is all he utters.

“You’re still going to show me your artwork today, right?” she asks, giving him a smile. Deidara perks up at her words and returns her smile.

“Of course, hn!” he says excitedly.

“Good.” she says, taking a sip of her coffee.

Eventually, each Akatsuki leaves to go about their day. (Y/n) places the dirty dishes in the sink and saves a plate for Hidan.

As if on cue, Hidan comes stumbling into the room, dressed only in a pair of sweatpants. ‘_Typical_’ she thinks.

“Ah, he lives.” she says as he opens the cupboard to retrieve a mug.

“Shut up.” he groans, taking a seat at the table with his coffee. She passes his plate across to him while he pours an excessive amount of cream in his cup.

“I didn’t peg you for the cream and sugar type, Hidan.” she teases, leaning against the counter. He shoots her a glare in response, and she chuckles. Mentally, she notes how adorable he looks with his hair sticking up every which way, very much looking like he just rolled out of bed.

“You’re pretty fucking cute, you know that?” she says, walking behind him and setting her mug on the countertop.

“I am not _cute_.” he says, tossing another bite of pancake into his mouth.

“Yes you are.” she replies, running her fingers through his messy hair. “Come to think of it, I’ve never met another person with pink eyes.”

“My eyes are not fucking pink,” he grumbles. “They’re mauve.”

“_Mauve_?” she repeats, laughing behind him. “I don’t know, they look pink to me. Like orchids.”

“Tch. You’re really fucking annoying this morning.” he says. Satisfied with her finger-combing job, she takes a seat next to him.

“What are we doing today?” she asks, stealing a strawberry from his plate.

“Nothing. I need to kill something.” he replies, poking her hand with his fork when she reaches for another berry.

“Can I come with you?”

“No.” he says firmly.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re not going to fucking like what you see.” he replies.

“You don’t know that.” she says, taking another sip of her coffee before rising from her seat. “I’ll be ready in 10.”

“You’re fucking impossible.” he mutters as she leaves the room.

~

(Y/n) sits patiently on a nearby rock as Hidan finishes his prayers to Jashin.

They’ve decided on their targets. In the distance, (Y/n) can hear the drunken babbling of two men. Heretics—that’s what Hidan calls them.

“Are you sure you want to watch this?” Hidan asks.

“Oh no, I won’t be watching,” she says, rising to her feet and stretching briefly. Hidan breathes a sigh of relief at her response.

“I’ll be participating.” she adds.

“Wha—like hell you are!” Hidan says in a harsh whisper. She starts to walk away, but he grabs her by her forearm before she can move another inch. “You’re not even a Jashinist!”

“Who says I have to be?” she asks, shaking off his hand. “I’ve killed people too, Hidan. For money. Doesn’t that make me a sinner according to your god?”

Hidan blinks at her a few times, slightly stunned. She takes the opportunity to scurry away from him towards the soon-to-be sacrifices. They’re passing a bottle of cheap liquor between them, chatting away about some disgusting sexual encounter one of them had. (Y/n) releases her (h/c) hair from her ponytail and fluffs it a bit, giving her a tousled, seductive look. As if she has to even try—her halter top accentuates her breasts while showing off her toned stomach. A high-waisted apron skirt with tight black shorts underneath covers her thighs while her tall, heeled shinobi sandals reach up to her knees. She saunters over to the men, swaying her hips as she walks.

“Hello boys,” she greets them.

“Well hello to you too, gorgeous.” the taller of the two men responds.

“Say, what’s a pretty little thing like you doing way out here all by yourself?” the shorter man asks, slinging an arm around her shoulders. She can almost hear the gritting of Hidan’s teeth off in the distance in response to the man’s actions.

“Actually, I’m terribly lost.” she says, placing a finger on the taller man’s chin and dragging it down his neck. “You two could help a poor girl out, right?” she asks seductively.

“Oh, we can help you out alright.” the tall man says, wrapping an arm around her waist. She represses the urge to vomit in her mouth at the sensation of his slimy hand on her bare skin.

“I’m sure you could,” she says. In her peripheral vision, she sees the slight rustle of a nearby bush. “Too bad though, I have all the help I need already.”

The two men give her a confused look and she smiles devilishly at them. In a flash, she stabs the man with his hand around her waist in the shoulder with a crystal dagger. He screams out in pain, his opposite hand flying to his injured arm. Behind her, she hears the unmistakable sound of a heavy blade tearing through flesh. She turns to see that the shorter man now has a scythe embedded deep in his abdomen. He falls to the ground a moment later, blood pouring from his mouth. She returns her attention to the man she just stabbed, who is currently cursing her to hell.

“You fucking bitc—” he starts, but is abruptly cut off by Hidan grabbing him roughly by the chin and the top of his head. In one swift motion, he jerks the man’s head to the right, snapping his neck instantly. The man drops to the ground with a loud thud. Half a second later, she’s on the ground herself. She bursts into a coughing fit, desperately trying to catch her breath. Hidan glares down at her angrily and grabs her by her jaw with one hand.

“What the fuck was that?” he yells.

“What the hell is the matter with you, Hidan?” she sputters in between coughs.

“I asked you a fucking question, bitch.” he seethes, increasing his grip on her jaw. “What the fuck were you thinking, acting like some cheap whore for those fucking pigs?”

She’s looking up at him, fear filling her (e/c) eyes. His heart breaks at the sight. He let his rage get the better of him. _Again_.

_She will always be afraid of you,_

_Because you’re a monster._

_She will never care for you,_

_Because you’re a monster._

_And she will never love you,_

_Because an angel cannot love a demon._

Hidan releases her chin and rises to his feet. She stares at him, a mixture of both fear and concern for him on her face.

“Get out of here.” he says quietly, eyes focused on his hands. Hands that have caused her so much pain.

“Hidan,” she says, reaching for his arm. “I—”

“I said get the fuck away from me!” he yells, grabbing her wrist and pushing it away from him forcefully.

(Y/n) clutches her wrist, tears threatening to overflow from her (e/c) eyes. She looks away from him, turning on her heel and walking back towards the compound.

Only when she can no longer hear the sound of Hidan’s fists cracking bone after bone of the dead man’s body does she let her tears fall.

~

Rain falls lightly from the grey sky above, the raindrops trickling slowly down her window.

This time, the rain doesn’t give her any comfort.

She sits by the window, one hand under her chin and the other twisting the string of his sweatshirt around her index finger. She’s deep in her thoughts, a few stray tears staining her cheeks.

_What did I do wrong?_

She only wanted to find common ground with Hidan. She wanted to know more about him; what he does, why he does it, what it _feels _like. It wasn’t an attempt to get closer to him as a friend, or a lover for that matter—only as a partner. He’s _her_ partner, after all. They have to trust each other and work together. She’s beginning to believe that may not be possible, that she’ll never get through to him. One minute he's civil with her, the next he's pinning her to the ground in anger. His drastic mood swings give her whiplash.

‘_I trust you, Hidan; even though I have a million reasons not to. Why can’t you trust me_?’ she thinks.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a faint knocking on her bedroom door.

She quickly wipes the tears from her face with her sleeve. “Just a minute!” she calls to whoever is behind the door.

“(Y/n)? It’s me, hn.” Deidara calls back. She slides the door open, sniffling a bit as she does so.

“Oh, hey Deidara.” she says, giving him a half-hearted smile.

“(Y/n), are you sick, un? Your face is red. Do you have a fever?” he asks, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. She can’t help but chuckle lightly at his concern for her.

“No Dei, it’s nothing like that.” she replies.

“We don’t have to go out today if you’re not feeling up to it, hn.” he says, brushing her hair behind her ear. She thinks for a fleeting moment how kind and affectionate he is compared to Hidan. It’s…refreshing.

“No, I want to go.” she says, placing her palm over the back of his hand. Unconsciously, she leans her head into his palm slightly and lets out a content sigh, causing him to blush.

“Just let me change real quick, ‘kay?” she says, smiling softly at him.

“Okay.” he replies, pulling his hand from her face slowly.


	8. shame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, this chapter was difficult. I apologize for the long wait, I just couldn't decide where I wanted to go with the chapter. Dammit Hidan, you're a real son of a bitch to write. Literally, it took weeks of contemplation to finish this chapter and I still don't know if I like it. To smut or not to smut? That is the question. Cha.
> 
> Songs for the chapter:
> 
> Shame - Ciaran Lavery
> 
> I Shall Cross This River - The Black Atlantic
> 
> i dont wanna be alone right now - kxisha (SoundCloud)
> 
> White Blood - Oh Wonder
> 
> Old Money - Lana Del Rey
> 
> Gemini (Prod. by LightxMusic) - Te11ana

“Why are we going so far out from the village?” (Y/n) asks.

“You don’t want to get rained on the entire time, right hn?” the young blonde says.

“Well, I guess I would prefer not to.” she replies.

A few minutes later, they’re out of the rainfall and approaching a large ravine. Water runs steadily through the narrow gorge with vibrant green moss lining the surrounding rocks. The late afternoon sunshine is peeking through the thin clouds, shining down on the wildflowers that pepper the mossy rocks.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Deidara asks.

“Yeah,” she says, still gazing into the ravine. “It is.”

“Not as beautiful as you, hn.” Deidara says with a wink.

“Cheesy pick-up lines won’t work on me, Dei.” she giggles.

“Nothing wrong with speaking the truth, hm.” he replies, making a series of hand signs before placing his palm on the ground. A puff of smoke appears. When it clears, a large clay bird stands in its place.

“You made this?” (Y/n) asks, reaching out to touch its sculpted feathers.

“You like it?” Deidara asks.

“It’s lovely, Deidara.” she says with a smile. He returns her smile and hops on the bird, offering a hand out to her. She accepts and joins him atop the sculpture.

“Hold on tight, hn.”

With a sudden flap of its wings, the bird takes off. Instinctively, (Y/n) holds on to Deidara’s arm for stability. He chuckles lightly in response.

A few moments later, they’re high up in the sky overlooking the ravine.

“You ready for the real show?” Deidara asks, reaching into his clay pouch. She gasps when she sees the mouths on his palms that seem to be chewing on the clay he dug from the bag. ‘_I guess that’s what Hidan meant about mouth hands_,’ she thinks. He notices this and gives her a half-smile.

“These mouths, they’re how I infuse chakra into my clay, un.” he explains. “I know it’s a bit creepy. They appeared as a result of using my village’s secret kinjutsu on myself, hn.”

(Y/n) gives him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I was just kind of startled, that’s all.” she says. “And I don’t think they’re creepy.”

“You really mean that, un?” Deidara asks.

“Of course.” she replies with a smile.

Deidara smiles back and opens his palms to reveal two small clay dragons. They skitter from his hands and twist around each other, forming into a statue of sorts. He picks it up and holds it over the ravine below.

“Art is…” he says, dropping the sculpture over the edge. As soon as it hits the rocks, a bright flash of light beams from the ravine followed by the sound of a loud bang.

“An explosion!” Deidara finishes his sentence, his smile bigger than ever. (Y/n) giggles at his excitement.

“I still don’t think I quite understand that part of your artwork.” she says.

“In time you’ll come to appreciate the aesthetics of something fleeting, hn.” he replies.

They soar above the clouds for a few minutes, reaching the edge of Amegakure. From their vantage point, they can see the distinct line where the rain meets the sunshine. Sunlight gets caught in the drizzle, the water bending the light and refracting a beautiful rainbow of color across the sky.

“Amazing.” (Y/n) says, awestruck.

“You got that right, hn.” he says, sneaking an arm around her. He’s surprised when she doesn’t stiffen, but actually leans her head against his shoulder. He looks down at her, frowning when he notices the dark imprints of what could only be Hidan’s fingers along her jawline.

“(Y/n)?” Deidara says quietly.

“Hm?” she replies, eyes still fixated on the skyline. Softly, his fingertips graze across her jaw to her chin, coaxing her to look at him.

“Why do you let him do this to you?” he asks. Her eyes meet his worry-filled blue ones, causing guilt to shoot through her heart. He truly cares for her, which is why it pains her so much. She isn’t worthy of his concern, not in her eyes.

“I don’t know, Dei.” she says, averting her gaze. He knows she doesn’t want to talk about it, but he has to ask her something that’s been bothering him ever since she came home from training the other day.

“Please just tell me one thing,” Deidara says. “He didn’t…force himself onto you, did he?”

She looks back to him and takes his hand in her own. “No, Deidara. I promise.” she says, squeezing his hand for emphasis. She leans against his shoulder again, and he sighs in relief.

“I believe you.” he says, resting his chin atop her head. A few peaceful moments pass between them as they slowly descend back to the earth.

“Thank you, Deidara. For today.” she says, eyes closed in contentment. “I needed it.”

He smiles softly at her words and places a kiss on the top of her head.

“Anytime, (Y/n).”

~

Back at the base, Hidan sits at the island with his pendant to his lips.

He prays for forgiveness, because he couldn’t bring himself to sacrifice her.

He prays for answers, because he doesn’t understand what he’s feeling or why.

He prays for guidance, because he just doesn’t know what _the fuck_ to do anymore.

Most of all, he prays for _her_.

Hidan has never prayed for another person, partly because it goes against the ‘_slaughter thy_ _neighbor_’ aspect of his religion, and partly because he’s never given a shit about anyone else but himself and his god. He’s always believed this world to be damned, cursed by hatred, bloodshed, and war. His place in it was to be both the judge and the executioner, ridding the earth of sinners as Jashin saw fit.

But everything is different now. He’s beginning to see the world from a new perspective—_her _perspective.

In her, he sees a light amongst the darkness.

He sees hope; a promise that there will be better days.

He sees peace; a world without suffering.

And God, how he wants so badly to stand there next to her. Together, against the world.

But that simply isn’t possible. Hidan is what he is—a killer. Nothing can change that. It’s a curse he cast upon himself the day he became a Jashinist. A curse that was later solidified when Jashin gifted him immortality. It wasn’t long after his joining of the religion that the Shinigami decided Hidan showed great promise as a vessel for His will of destruction. Without much warning, he found himself bound to his god for eternity; all that awaited him was blood and anarchy. Once he realized what he had been granted, he found himself overcome with regret in the days that followed. Looking back now, he wonders why he felt that way. He should have been overjoyed that he of all people was chosen to be Jashin’s vessel, but he wasn’t. He stares at his rosary for a long while, completely lost in his own mind. Slowly, he comes to the sickening realization.

All at once, the memories he locked away for so long come flooding back into his consciousness.

He remembers why he felt such remorse.

He remembers the regret. The knowing that he could never go back to his old life. The memories of his former village were too clear, too fresh in his mind at that time. He remembers how he threw himself over the highest peak outside of Yugakure over and over again when he realized the finality of his decision. He remembers the blissful blankness that filled his consciousness each time he hit the bottom, only to be cruelly yanked back into the waking world. He remembers screaming and crying for hours, his mind being endlessly tormented with memories of his past—of what could have been.

Of his comrades. His sensei, who raised him as his own. He was so proud that day—the day that Hidan was selected as the first of his three students to join Yugakure’s ANBU black ops.

He remembers the day he killed his sensei. The only person in his life that ever truly cared for him.

_‘You were always such a loyal child, Hidan. How far you’ve fallen…’_

Suddenly incredibly nauseous, Hidan makes a dash for the sink and heaves up the contents of his stomach. He turns on the tap and grips the edge of the stone countertop hard enough to crack it. He hasn’t felt this kind of panic in so long that he’s forgotten how terrible it feels. He closes his eyes and takes in several deep breaths, slowing his racing heart. Eventually, the memories file themselves away somewhere far in the back of his mind. The sting of his emotions remains though, and they quickly turn into feelings of anger.

_It’s her._

_She’s making him remember._

_It’s all her fault._

He was fine—he was _fucking fantastic_ before he met her. But now she’s fucked him up so badly that no amount of prayers or offerings to Jashin will fix him.

_Or perhaps she’s saving him._

Hidan shakes his head, trying to push the thought out of his mind. As horrible as he feels in his current state, there’s a part of him that welcomes the fear. The sadness. The regret. The memories. He turns off the tap and watches as the water swirls down the drain, his mind trying to pinpoint the foreign yet familiar feelings.

_Human._

She makes him feel human again.

He scoffs at the thought and leans his elbows on the counter, covering his face with his hands and sighing loudly into his palms. He feels tired and defeated by his own emotions and stubbornness.

The sound of two familiar voices echoing from the stairwell cause him to snap back up. He quickly opens the fridge and pretends to be searching for a snack, as if he didn’t just have a partial mental breakdown.

(Y/n) and Deidara enter the room, and he makes brief eye contact with (Y/n). She looks away though, not even bothering to take off her shoes before heading towards her room.

“See you, Dei.” she says over her shoulder.

‘_Dei? The fuck?_’ Hidan thinks, shooting a glare towards the blonde. To his surprise, Deidara doesn’t return his glare or appear angry at all. Actually, he looks nervous with the way he keeps shifting his weight back and forth from one foot to the other.

“Hidan, about what—” he starts.

“Just fucking forget about it.” Hidan says, giving him a dismissive wave.

“Can I just—” Deidara tries but is interrupted again by Hidan.

“You said what you fucking said, and you can’t take it back. I don’t need some half-assed apology from you.” Hidan says, slamming the fridge door shut. “So, I hope you’re fucking happy.”

With that, Hidan stomps down the hall, leaving Deidara alone in the kitchen. He lets out a long sigh and sheds his cloak before plopping down on the couch.

~

Hidan stands outside (Y/n)’s door for a long while. He’s never one to be at a loss for words, but right now he has no idea what to say to her. He paces back and forth, running a hand through his silver hair repeatedly.

After a few more minutes of pacing, he musters up the courage to bring his fist to the wooden door. He stops though, just before his knuckles rasp against the hard surface. Hidan is out of his league here and he knows it. If he tried apologizing to her now, he’d likely end up pissing her off even more. Or make a complete fool of himself. Perhaps both. He lowers his head in defeat and trudges back to his own bedroom.

On the opposite side of the door, (Y/n) listens to the sound of Hidan’s footsteps retreating. She lets out a sigh and slips out of her clothes. ‘_What an idiot. I could sense his chakra from a mile away’ _she thinks, shaking her head at his stupidity.

Tossing her clothes aside, she pulls on a simple black satin nightgown and crawls into bed.

~

A few hours later, she’s awakened by a scream.

She sits bolt upright in her bed, quickly scanning her room for any signs of danger. Finding nothing, she looks at the clock on her nightstand which reads 3:14 am.

Another scream echoes through the hall outside her bedroom, and she decides to investigate. She grabs a kunai and slides her door open gently. No one else appears to be awake, and the corridor is dark. Kunai at hand, she tip-toes towards the living room.

“Fucking stop!” yells a familiar man’s voice.

(Y/n) whips her head towards the source, her eyes landing on the Jashinist’s door. She can hear the clattering of objects being knocked over from the other side. Carefully, she approaches the slider, wrapping her fingers around the handle. In a quick motion, she slides the door open—ready to strike at whoever lies beyond. However, she’s stopped in her tracks by sight in front of her.

Hidan lies in his bed, thrashing back and forth violently as if he’s fighting something. Sweat drenches his bare chest, and she notices that the lamp that was sitting on his nightstand is now in pieces on the floor.

“Don’t you fucking touch her!” he yells.

Finally, she realizes what’s happening. He’s having a nightmare. She drops her kunai and scurries to his side.

“Hidan. Hidan! It’s me, (Y/n). Wake up!” she says, slapping his cheek a few times. His eyes don’t open though. Her heart practically breaks at the expression cast on his beautiful features. His brows are knitted together, and his eyes move rapidly back and forth under his lids. His teeth are clenched, parting every so often to draw in ragged, panicked breaths. She’s never seen him like this—it makes her feel helpless.

In his unconscious state, Hidan lurches forward suddenly, landing a solid right hook to (Y/n)’s cheekbone. She’s knocked off balance for a moment but recovers quickly, pinning his arms down on the bed. He struggles under her weight and she knows she can’t keep him in place for long. She places a palm on the center of his chest, shooting a bit of chakra into him. To her relief, he sits up, his eyes snapping open and darting around the room wildly.

“Hidan. Hey, it’s okay.” She whispers, pushing back the strands of silver that stick to his forehead. He doesn’t respond, his breath still coming out in forceful heaves. Orchid eyes lock with hers, full of confusion.

“You were having a night terror.” She says, answering his unspoken question. “You’re okay. I’m here. There’s nothing to be afraid of now.”

His breathing slows and he squeezes his eyes shut, pushing away whatever horrific images he must of have seen. She wonders briefly, what could possibly scare someone who is more demon than man.

Hidan opens his eyes slowly, and the first thing his mind registers is the angry red patch spread across the side of (Y/n)’s face. Without much thought, he reaches his hand out and strokes her cheek lightly over the discolored skin.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/n).” The words leave his mouth before he can fully process what he’s saying, and he averts his eyes from hers. She doesn’t let him though. She moves her hand to the side of his neck, coaxing him to look back at her.

“It’s alright, Hidan. I’m okay.” She says quietly, bringing her other hand to the back of his head and pulling him towards her in an embrace. He’s stiff at first, but after a moment he allows himself to melt into her. Strong arms wrap around her small frame, squeezing her lightly. He nuzzles into the crook of her neck, breathing in the faint scent of cherry blossoms that lingers on her hair. It’s alarming, how soothing just her touch is.

She doesn’t miss the small quake that rumbles through his bones—the kind that happens when you try to stifle a sob. She doesn’t react though; it wasn’t meant for her to hear. She looks down at him, her heart swelling at the content expression on his face. He looks so vulnerable right now; she almost doesn’t recognize him. Right now, he’s not a killer or a monster. He’s just _Hidan_.

“I can stay,” she whispers into his hair. “If you want.”

He shifts in her arms, two bright mauve eyes peeking up at her. She knows what he’s saying; for once in his life, Hidan admits defeat. Not through words, because he doesn’t need to. Right now, he needs her and they both know it.

Carefully, she eases him back onto the black sheets, moving so that he can lay his head on her chest. (Y/n) strokes his hair lazily, noting the iridescent purple sheen that the sparse moonlight casts on his near-white locks. He’s so pretty that it’s almost painful; his strong jawline and sharp features clash with the softness of his lips and the set of wispy lashes lining his eyelids in the most stunning way possible. ‘_A demon disguised as an angel_,’ she thinks, twirling a quicksilver strand around her finger.

She considers asking him about his nightmare but decides against it. They lay in comfortable silence, only the faint pitter-patter of raindrops hitting the rooftop fill the air. One by one, she feels Hidan’s muscles relax beneath her. He lets out the occasional quiet sigh, his warm breath fanning across her chest with each exhalation. Her eyelids grow heavy and she fights to stay awake for him. The bastard doesn’t deserve it, but she wants to make sure he’s okay before she allows herself to drift off. She alternates between trailing her fingers softly up and down his jawline and stroking his hair. Eventually, his breaths become shallow and infrequent. Her hand stops and rests on his forehead, feeling the undisturbed and restful flow of his chakra under her palm. She’s not necessarily a sensory-type ninja, but with her knowledge of medical ninjutsu and her natural empathetic disposition, she can pick up and detect changes in chakra quite easily.

Now sure of the state of Hidan’s consciousness, she places a light kiss to the top of his head. She takes one last, long moment to admire the sweet tranquility of his sleeping form before closing her eyes and joining him in slumber.

x

_ Would you light me up,_

_ Really set me on fire,_

_ And be there when I’m burning out?_


End file.
